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| Thread ID: 137146 | 2014-05-27 11:06:00 | Wednesday Laughs:....Cough! Unavoidably delayed................ | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1376019 | 2014-05-27 11:06:00 | . . Do you realise that in about 40 years there will be thousands of old women running around with tattoos they'd rather forget (if they live that long!) and Rap music will be on the Golden Oldies stations. Now those are real scary thoughts :o ********************************* LOOK AFTER YOUR WIFE..... A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting on the patio, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. It was all peaceful and quiet, then that nosey woman Sheila from next door poked her flippin' head over the fence and saw us there. She was so flamin' rorked up that she came over and screamed at me: "You're a dead-beat lazy oaf sitting there drinking beer while your poor wife pushes that ancient lawn mower around!" "Get up off your fat arse and give her a break!" I thought 'woah woman!' I took another swig from my stubby, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my sunnies, stared directly at this nosey cow and told her in no uncertain terms to sod off and mind her own business. I told her my wife had green fingers and that she really enjoyed outside work. After a few days I had a rethink, and i felt really bad, so to show my sensitive and considerate side, I went out and bought her a ride-on mower off Trade Me. I'm really proud of the deal I got and also very pleased that my wife can now sit down while mowing the lawn. Yes guys, we should take good care of our wives... then maybe they'll take good care of us. Yeah yeah! I know...…I'm just an old softie at heart. She'll probably want wing mirrors on it next!! I've attached a picture below...hope it comes through OK. Go to the bottom of the post to see it.... ********************************* A boy goes to the Chemist with his dad and sees the condom display behind the counter. The boy asks his father: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?" His father replies: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights." Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?" Dad: "Those are for the University guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights." Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?" Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March." ********************************* Caution, content may offend!!! A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates.. He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed. Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard. "Are you Mohammed?" he asks. "No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up.." And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds. Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in mighty leaps, climbs through the clouds and comes to a room where he meets another bearded man. He asks again, "Are you Mohammed?" "No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still." Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard. Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?" "No, I am Jesus... You will find Mohammed higher up." Mohammed higher than Jesus! The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher. Once again he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question: "Are you Mohammed?" he gasps as he is, by now, totally exhausted from all his climbing. "No my son......I am God. But you look very tired. Would you like a coffee?" "Yes, please, my Lord." God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out: "Hey Mohammed, two coffees please!!!!" Cheers Billy 8-{) :) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1376020 | 2014-05-27 17:12:00 | Loved the ride on mower Billy. | tut (12033) | ||
| 1376021 | 2014-05-27 20:45:00 | Loved the ride on mower Billy.x2 :lol: | Greg (193) | ||
| 1376022 | 2014-05-27 20:57:00 | . . Do you realise that in about 40 years there will be thousands of old women running around with tattoos they'd rather forget (if they live that long!) and Rap music will be on the Golden Oldies stations. Now those are real scary thoughts :o I don't know about the women with tats, but just yesterday I had to call Senior Services. They had some Rap on their music on hold :eek: |
WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1376023 | 2014-05-27 23:06:00 | Apologies for the late laughs......... Now it can be told! Mrs T needed yet another operation, and I just got the call that all went well and I can now go pick her up from the hospital. I get kinda distracted when she has to go under the knife yet again, and I tend to walk around in ever decreasing circles, both beforehand and until after I get the good news. She's been ported and polished, had just about everything repaired, renewed, rebored or replaced, so apart from a panel & paint, I think we are just about at the end of the list! Cheers Billy 8-{) :wub |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1376024 | 2014-05-27 23:30:00 | Apologies for the late laughs......... Now it can be told! Mrs T needed yet another operation, and I just got the call that all went well and I can now go pick her up from the hospital. I get kinda distracted when she has to go under the knife yet again, and I tend to walk around in ever decreasing circles, both beforehand and until after I get the good news. She's been ported and polished, had just about everything repaired, renewed, rebored or replaced, so apart from a panel & paint, I think we are just about at the end of the list! Cheers Billy 8-{) :wub Great to hear Billy! No need to applogize to us for taking care of the wifey. |
lordnoddy (3645) | ||
| 1376025 | 2014-05-27 23:36:00 | Glad to hear the news Billy... and so nice to read the affection. Good man. | Greg (193) | ||
| 1376026 | 2014-05-27 23:49:00 | Good to hear Billy!! Has she had 4 new tyres to go with the other parts of the tuneup :) Ken |
kenj (9738) | ||
| 1376027 | 2014-05-28 03:48:00 | Good to hear Billy!! Has she had 4 new tyres to go with the other parts of the tuneup :) Ken Sadly no, but the results from today indicate she will need two new universal joints within 12 months or the driving wheels will cease to cooperate. which wasn't quite what we wanted to hear! However, top marks to our revitalised health system, that now can set a date and stick to it instead of checking back after a decade or so to see if you are still alive, then telling you how long the waiting list still is. The follow-up appointment is already scheduled! Cheers Billy 8-{) :thumbs: |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1376028 | 2014-05-28 07:41:00 | I've had a universal joint rebuild, doesn't affect 2WD mode but could affect 4WD if I fall over | gary67 (56) | ||
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