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| Thread ID: 137558 | 2014-07-20 23:47:00 | Monday Laughs:....Headline act is a funeral, but I'll bet you laugh................ | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1379717 | 2014-07-20 23:47:00 | . . Topical! A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?" The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony." The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years.. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable." The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know - one that's considerate and fun, romantic, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is good in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for...a good man." The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see that map again." ********************************* A young woman goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a coloured man and and they are mutually attracted. After a night of passionate love making she asks him, "What is your name?" "I can't tell you," he says . Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is, and he always responds the same, he can't tell her. On her last night there she asks again, "Can you please tell me your name?" "I can't tell you my name because you will laugh at me," says the man. "There is no reason for me to laugh at you," the woman says. "Fine, my name is Snow" the man replies, and she promptly bursts into laughter! The man gets mad and says, "See, I knew you would make fun of it." The lady replied, "I'm not making fun of your name, I'm thinking of my girlfriends, who won't believe me when I tell him that I had ten inches of snow every day while in Jamaica!" ********************************* So much for the theory that Grandmas know everything! Little Tony was visiting his grandmother for a few days. He'd been outside playing with the neighborhood kids for a while when, suddenly, he burst into the house and asked, "Grandma, what is that called when people are sleeping on top of each other?" She was somewhat taken aback, but, after a little thought, decided it would be best to be truthful with the boy: "It's called sexual intercourse, darling." Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK," and went back outside to continue talking and playing with his friends. A few minutes later he came running back in the house and said angrily, "Grandma, it is NOT called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds!!" ******************************** Python Graham Chapman's funeral service: Need I say more........ (www.youtube.com) John Cleese at the pulpit. It is not short, runs about 5 minutes, but worth the break from the worries of the day. Cheers Billy 8-{) :) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1379718 | 2014-07-22 09:08:00 | Love it | Agent_24 (57) | ||
| 1379719 | 2014-07-22 10:29:00 | Good laughs there - thanks. | Bobh (5192) | ||
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