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| Thread ID: 138051 | 2014-09-28 21:03:00 | Monday Laughs:....Anything but elections:.....Continued....... | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1384961 | 2014-09-28 21:03:00 | . . There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes. The bear went first and he said, I wish to be the only male bear in this forest. And he got his wish. The rabbit said, I want a motorcycle helmet. And he got his wish. The bear went up and said, I wish to be the only male bear in the Americas, and all the rest to be female. And he got his wish. The rabbit said, I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet. And he got his wish. The bear said, for my last wish, I want to be the only male bear in the whole wide world, and every other bear to be female. And he got his wish. It was the rabbit's turn to make his last wish, and he said, I wish that bear was gay. ********************************* An American is vacationing in Spain, and has just sat down to dinner in a fancy restaurant. Suddenly, he sees all the waiters parade out of the kitchen and, with great flourish, set a platter before one of the diners. On the plate he can see some sort of large, oval objects. The diner looks very pleased, and with the fanfare over, the waiters go back to their normal routines. As his waiter passes his table, the American asks, "What's the deal with the huge presentation over that guy's meal?" "Oh, senor," the waiter says, "That man has ordered the most expensive thing on our menu. Of course we make much celebration when someone orders it!" "Well, then," the American says, "I want the same thing, money is no object." "I'm sorry, sir," the waiter says, "There was only one order to serve today. You see, when the bullfighters kill a bull, they remove his, uh, 'family jewels' and that's what we serve. There was a bullfight today, but only one matador presented us with this delicacy, however there is another bullfight next Thursday... come back then, and we'll make sure to reserve this delicacy for you." So the next Thursday, the American goes back to the restaurant and is seated. As the waiter promised, a procession of apron-clad men march out of the kitchen with a platter held high. It is set before the American, and the lid removed. "Hey! What's this?" the man exclaims. "This is nothing like what I saw that other guy get... these are so... small! What happened?" "Well, senor..." the waiter said, "Sometimes the bull wins ..." ********************************* Three guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The systems analyst is driving and when they come to a steep hill he finds that the brakes have stopped working and the car is accelerating out of control. So, the driver pumps the emergency brake, downshifts the gears, and rubs the wheels' rims against the curb. He finally wrestles the car to a stop. The three climb out and assess the situation. Hardware tech: "Let's try and fix it. I'll crawl under the car and take a look." Systems analyst: "No. I think we should get someone qualified to fix it, a specialist in brakes." Programmer: "Why don't we just get back in and see if it happens again?" ********************************* Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today's world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn't give their domain names enough consideration: 1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name? wait for it? is www.whorepresents.com (http://www.whorepresents.com) 2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com (http://www.expertsexchange.com) 3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net (http://www.penisland.net) 4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com (http://www.therapistfinder.com) 5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company www.powergenitalia.com (http://www.powergenitalia.com) 6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com (http://www.molestationnursery.com) 7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always www.ipanywhere.com (http://www.ipanywhere.com) 8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com (http://www.cummingfirst.com) 9. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com (http://www.speedofart.com) 10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com (http://www.gotahoe.com) No Kidding! Most, if not all, of these are current sites! Billy :p ********************************* Gender Confused? Not sure if you are more Male -or- Female???????? To find the answer, look down. | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V | V Not here dummy!! Wow, you really are confused! :rolleyes: Just look DOWN! Cheers Billy 8-{) :devil |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1384962 | 2014-09-29 04:44:00 | Thanks Billy T. Loved the rabbit and the bear lol! | lakewoodlady (103) | ||
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