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Thread ID: 138345	2014-11-16 22:10:00	Monday Laughs:...On matters marital................	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1388160	2014-11-16 22:10:00	. . A little old man, for the first time in his life decides to get the one thing he always wanted but never got, even as a boy. He buys a pair of real COWBOY BOOTS, and as he gets home to his wife, asks her: "Do yer see anything different aboot me tiddy..lass?" "Er, no" she says, "not a blinkin' t'ing at all!" So he goes into the bedroom and takes all his clothes off and still wearing his cowboy boots and all butt-nekkid he walks up to her again and asks: "Kin yer see ennything different at all with me now?" "No, not really; yer little man was pointing down last time I saw yer, and 'e's lookin' the same way today." "Aye woman! So he is!" He's admirin' me new cowboy boots!" ********************************* A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, how old are you? The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older." The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up." The girl still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?" The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now." The little girl, frustrated, sulks until she is dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consults with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation. The girlfriend says, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just like a report card from school. It tells you everything." Later, the little girl and her mother are out and about again. The little girl starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. You're 39 years old." The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?" The little girl shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 145 pounds. "Where did you learn that?" The little girl says, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex." :) ********************************* At the church's husband's marriage seminar, the Priest asked Luigi, on his upcoming 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Luigi replied to the audience "Well, I'v-a tried to treat-a her well, spend-a the money on her, but-a, da best-a is-a dat I took her to Italy for the 20th-a anniversary! The Priest immediately commented, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell the audience what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary..." Luigi proudly replied, "I'm-a gonna go and-a bring her back." ********************************* A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa and said: "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining, Chinese food is loaded with MSG, high-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realises the long-term harm caused by the chemical pollutants in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it at some time in the future. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of total silence, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake." Cheers Billy 8-{) ;)	Billy T (70)
1388161	2014-11-16 23:17:00	Excellent Billy, as usual. I heard the alternative ending to the COWBOY BOOTS joke where the old lady says "You should have bought a hat!" Ken :)	kenj (9738)
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