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Thread ID: 139172 2015-03-22 23:04:00 Monday Laughs:.... Youth, sex, and religion: An eclectic mix for Monday.......... Billy T (70) PC World Chat
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1396922 2015-03-22 23:04:00 .
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Generations of the 20th and 21st Centuries

People born before 1946 were called the Silent and Powerful generation..
People born between 1946 and 1964 are called the Baby Boomers.
People born between 1965 and 1979 are called Generation X,
And people born between 1980 and 2015 are called Generation Y,

Why do we call this last group Generation Y?

Can you explain it any better than this?

Y should I get a job?
Y should I leave home and find my own place?
Y should I buy a car when I can borrow yours?
Y should I clean my room?
Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?
Y should I buy any food?

Bemused? A cartoonist explained it very eloquently, see below.......



6310

*********************************


Six Kinds of Sex

1. The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period; you keep doing it until you're blue in the face.

2. The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen on the table, etc.

3. The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.

4. The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is the phase in which you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Screw you!" This is also called oral sex by some.

5. There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.

6. There is also Benefit or Pension Sex...that's when you get a little bit once a month but it's not enough to live on....

*********************************


By Pam Ayres (edited to provide a touch of local flavour!)

The missus bought a Paperback;
Down Pukekohe way.
I had a look inside her bag;
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it;
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor;
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago,
I might have had a peek;
But Ethel hasn't weathered well,
She's eighty-four next week!!

Watching Ethel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple of minutes later!
She put her teeth back in and said;
'I am the dominator'!!

Now if you knew our Ethel;
You'd see just why I spluttered!
I'd spent two months in traction;
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there fully naked;
Bent forward just a bit.
I went to hold her, sensual-like;
And stood on her left tit!

Ethel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!

Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

*********************************


Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year-old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

"Well", said the 87 year-old. "It's quite simple really, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and gives you great stamina with the ladies as well."

The 80 year-old was mightily impressed by this, so on the way home he stopped off at the bakery. As he was looking around, the counter lady asked if he needed any help, so he asked, "Do you have any Italian bread?"

"Yes", she replied, "there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

"Yes", he said, "I want five loaves."

"My goodness, five loaves?" said the shop lady, "don't you think by the time you get to the fifth loaf, it will have gone hard?"

"I can't believe this!", the 80 year-old exclaimed. "Everybody in the world knows about this Italian bread thing but me."

*********************************


Moggy the cat has a long and happy life and finally passes on and arrives at the pearly gates. St Peter says "you have been a good cat and have served me well. Is there anything particular you would like to enjoy in eternity?"

Cat thinks for a bit and says, "Well no, not really, just a nice place to doze and enough food will do fine."

So the cat enters and enjoys.

Next a whole bunch of mice turn up at the gates. St Peter says "You have been good mice all your life and what would you like to enjoy yourself here?" The mice think for a bit and then say, "Well it all looks pretty good but one thing we get sick of is almost getting stepped on all the time so roller skates would be nice so we can whizz around and get out of the way."

"All done." says St Peter.

Couple of weeks later he's doing the rounds and comes acroos the cat curled up and contentedly sprawled on a rug. "How's it all going? Everything to you liking?" he asks.

"Really good," says the cat, "and I really appreciate the meals on wheels."


Cheers

Billy 8-{) :) 		Billy T (70)
1396923 2015-03-22 23:25:00 good stuff thanks Billy.
The generation thing is all rubbish of course, we create artificial groupings and give them a label when in truth it's a continous thing with no boundaries. 		dugimodo (138)
1396924 2015-03-23 00:45:00 good stuff thanks Billy.
The generation thing is all rubbish of course, we create artificial groupings and give them a label when in truth it's a continous thing with no boundaries.
Yeah! Pedantry rules! 		Tony (4941)
1396925 2015-03-23 01:12:00 good stuff thanks Billy.
The generation thing is all rubbish of course, we create artificial groupings and give them a label when in truth it's a continous thing with no boundaries.

I'm not so sure that the groupings are artificial, they are created largely by external events i.e. the baby boomers post WWII, then the computer age seemed to stamp its mark on the next broad generation, followed by the age of freedoms and 'I want it now'.

Granted the boundaries are indistinct and will be defined loosely by events yet to come, but it will be interesting to see which way the pendulum swings when the age of freedoms tapers off. Once that generation has children, seek work and housing, and enter into relationships (not necessarily in that order) they may find that the World is indeed a harsh and unforgiving mistress to those who cruised and eventually crash, and as a consequence there may well be a significant revision of society's values amd mores.

I can hear now the cries of 'What the F............' from some as they find that they are going to 'get it', whether they like it or not.

But anyway, this is Monday Laughs, not a philosphical treatise.

Cheers

Billy 8-{) :2cents: 		Billy T (70)
1396926 2015-03-23 01:35:00 Good stuff thanks Billy.
. . . it's a continous thing with no boundaries.

That's generation Y alright; :lol: :lol: 		R2x1 (4628)
1396927 2015-03-23 04:35:00 IDIOT SIGHTING
I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please".*
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her.
*
IDIOT SIGHTING*
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the*keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly*to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know, I already got that side.*'*
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS

IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.*

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING* (This is my favorite…)
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.*

IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.*
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'*
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
*
IDIOT SIGHTING*
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING
How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in**Kansas City, Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha".
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.
If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.*

STAY ALERT! They walk among us......and they*VOTE and have babies.
*
For all of us who are seniors...
The reason why baby diapers have brand names such as Luvs and Huggies, while undergarments for old people are called Depends:
When babies poop in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em and Hug'em.
When old people poop in their pants, it Depends on who's in the will!

Ken
* 		kenj (9738)
1396928 2015-03-23 08:10:00 That's generation Y alright; :lol: :lol:

There you go trying to label things :). If you meant me you got it wrong. If I was to buy into it I'd be Gen X.
Thing is, what about someone born at the beginning or end of a generation? they clearly have more in common with someone close to their own age who technically falls into a different generation classification than someone at the other end of the group they are lumped in with. The early 80's look a lot like the late seventies, the late 80 resembles the early nineties. Artificial boundaries based on a man made calendar are largely meaningless, time is a continuous thing and doesn't fall in bands 		dugimodo (138)
1396929 2015-03-23 19:51:00 6314

Ken 		kenj (9738)
1396930 2015-03-23 22:29:00 6314

Ken

That's what NCEA does for us! 		johcar (6283)
1396931 2015-03-23 22:47:00 That's what NCEA does for us!

Wouldn't that be the truth. :lol: 		B.M. (505)
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