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Thread ID: 139660	2015-06-07 10:15:00	Monday Laughs:....On women..........Need I say more?	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1402206	2015-06-07 10:15:00	. . To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ********************************* Eve's Talk With God "Lord, I have a problem." "What's the problem, Eve?" "I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "And why is that, Eve?" "Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples." "Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "Man? What is that Lord?" "A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy all your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly." "Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch, Lord?" "Well ... you can have him on one condition. As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring ... so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. It will have to be our little secret though.....you know, woman to woman." ********************************* The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison. And then they made love for the first time. Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped." Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him." After the second time, the guy reaches for a drink but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile and says "the prisoner is out again!" The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a new-born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted. She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again." Limply turning his head, he says to her, "Hey, prison is not a life sentence, OKAY! ********************************* A Women's Guide To Male English -- What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? -- I'm hungry = I'm hungry. -- I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy. -- I'm tired = I'm tired. -- What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this. -- Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before. -- Yes, I like your new hair style = $150 and it doesn't look that much different! -- I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! ********************************* Arguing with a woman is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig. After a couple of hours, you realise that the pig is enjoying the exercise. Cheers Billy 8-{) :devil	Billy T (70)
1402207	2015-06-10 04:31:00	Hmm............. No comments! That must mean that either all women agree with this assessement and their other halves dare not to contradict them; or all men took one look, agreed with the general thrust, then shut their computer down and left town. My favourite was wrestling with the pig! Cheers Billy 8-{) :devil	Billy T (70)
1402208	2015-06-11 03:47:00	:lol:	Agent_24 (57)
1402209	2015-06-11 04:43:00	No comments! That must mean that either all women agree with this assessement and their other halves dare not to contradict them; What's wrong? = Wouldn't be asked, he wouldn't notice. -- I'm hungry = I'm hungry. -- I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy. -- I'm tired = I'm tired. -- Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = He actually asked, why did you go over to XX(My hairdresser friend) So again, doesn't notice -- I like that one better (while shopping) = No, cause I buy online. Once or twice he did actually notice but the question is how much was that?	pctek (84)
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