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Thread ID: 139753	2015-06-21 11:06:00	Monday Laughs:...The 'No Aussie Etiquette' edition,+ some other stuff, I forget what!	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1403312	2015-06-21 11:06:00	. . STORY TIME: This is a story about a Fly, a Fish, a Bear, a Hunter, a Mouse and a Cat. Poster's Warning: There is a moral to this story...... In the dead of summer, a fly was resting among leaves beside a stream. The hot, dry, fly said to no-one in particular, 'Gosh...if I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed.' But below him there was a fish in the water thinking, 'Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him.' There was a bear on the shore thinking, 'Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches, that fish will jump for the fly... and I can grab the fish!!' It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich.... 'Gosh,' he thought, 'if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish leaps for it...that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish, I'll shoot the bear and have a decent meal'. Now, you probably think this is more than enough activity for one river bank, but I can tell you there's more.... A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, 'gosh, if that fly goes down three inches... And that fish jumps for that fly... And that bear grabs for that fish... The dumb hunter will drop his cheese sandwich to shoot at the bear, and I will get to eat his cheese.' A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, (as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular river around lunch time) 'Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches... And that fish jumps for that fly... And that bear grabs for that fish... And that hunter shoots that bear... And that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich... Then I can have mouse for lunch.' The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water. The fish swallows the fly... The bear grabs the fish... The hunter shoots the bear... The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich... The cat jumps for the mouse... The mouse ducks... And the cat falls into the water and drowns. NOW, the moral of this story is............... 'Whenever a fly goes down three inches, some pussy's gonna be in serious danger!' Didn't even see that one coming, did you? :D ********************************* The train was quite crowded, and a U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a poodle sitting next to a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?" The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat." The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired." She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!" This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down. The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place!" An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, by gad, you seem to have thrown the wrong bltch out the window." ********************************* Two Irish Nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the Mother Superior points to a hot-dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the Nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." The Mother Superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other Nun and whispers cautiously: "What part did you get? ********************************* We've all heard about people having either "Guts" or "Balls". But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed and up to date, the Definition for each is listed below...... GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?" BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar and then slapping your wife on the bum and having the balls to say: "You're next, Fatty." I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject. Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
1403313	2015-06-21 19:53:00	Nice I loved the first one.	gary67 (56)
1403314	2015-06-22 00:47:00	Nice I loved the first one. +1 I certainly didn't see that one coming!	WalOne (4202)
1403315	2015-06-22 01:42:00	+1 I certainly didn't see that one coming! Ah... Grasshopper, you have much to learn about my twisted mind.........:D Cheers Billy 8-{) :devil	Billy T (70)
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