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Thread ID: 139972 2015-08-02 11:16:00 Monday Laughs:...Hung Chow, The Pope, Mechanics, Women & Little Johnnie's sister! Billy T (70) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
1405707 2015-08-02 11:16:00 .
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Hung Chow calls his Employer and says, 'Hey Boss, I no come work today, I really sick, got headache, stomach hurt and legs hurt too, I no come work.'

The Boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me Sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon........You got nice house'

*************************************


The Pope and Tony Abbot are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd, at the AFL Grand Final. The Pope leaned towards Abbot and said, "Do you know that with one little movement of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like those believers in a football match, but go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"

Abbot replied, "I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand? ... Show me"

So the Pope backhanded the b@stard.

And the Crowd Went Wild.

*************************************


A Mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Honda motorcycle when he spotted a well-known Cardiologist in his shop.......The Cardiologist was there waiting for the Service Manager to come take a look at his bike, so the Mechanic shouted across the workshop, 'Hey Doc, you want to take a look at this?'

The Cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the Mechanic was working on the motorcycle and said 'What is it you want me to see?

The Mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, 'So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make only $40,000 a year and you get ten times as much when you and I are doing basically the same work?'

The Cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the Mechanic:

'Try doing it with the engine running!!'

*************************************


FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you..

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

*************************************


A Teacher is explaining biology to her Junior School class and says "human beings are the only animals that stutter."

A little girl raises her hand and says. "Please Miss, I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."

Knowing how precious some of these stories could become, the Teacher asked the girl to describe the incident.

'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty when the Rottweiler that lives next door got loose and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'

'That must've been scary,' said the Teacher.

'It sure was,' said the little girl. 'My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF," but before she could say 'f**k off!', the Rottweiler swallowed her!


Cheers

Billy 8-{) :) 		Billy T (70)
1405708 2015-08-03 00:28:00 One day David accidentally overturned his golf cart.

Glenys, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lives in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you okay, David?"

"I'm okay, thanks" he replies.

"Forget about your troubles, come to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you with the cart later."

"That's nice of you," David answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."

"Oh, come on" Glenys insisted. She was very pretty, very sexy and very persuasive... David was weak.

"Well okay," he finally agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."

After a restorative brandy, and some creative putting lessons, David thanked Glenys, "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."

"Don't be silly!" Glenys said with a smile, "she won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Under the cart!" 		johcar (6283)
1405709 2015-08-03 03:17:00 My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF

:lol: 		WalOne (4202)
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