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Thread ID: 140000	2015-08-05 07:30:00	givealittle hardtimes	pctek (84)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1405956	2015-08-06 02:58:00	You know, I didn't really want to do this. Considering not only do I get in the **** from the general public but I will get in the **** from her (again) as well. My dad was A)Religious B)Old Skool. So he ran the bills etc. She was to attend to the housework and food and that's it. When he died - for her - out of the blue in a totally unexpected event - not only was she shocked, upset to the point of nearly crashing the car on the way home, she had no idea what was what. She never even saw the bills never mind how much things were, or how much the mortgage - that he got was - she only knew there was one. I managed to see him for a couple of hours, when I realised his imminent departure -and everyone else was telling me to stay here, not to worry, I went back - and missed seeing him for the last time by 1 night. Well never mind, at least I could help sort things out. Like cleaning the place up. Cleaning it out. Taking her to the bank, finding out - and changing the bills, how they get paid, arranging WINZ - change of pension etc and what help she could get and all that sort of stuff. And I got ****. From her, from various church people I upset, not only am I a non-person my family shouldn't even speak to anymore, I encroached what what they thought was their help. Yeah right. OK I opened my mouth a bit and **** stirred, well at least it got them off the religious "help" and onto actually helping her out with some things. However, she has spent her life being able to keep on top of the finances - well he did, although she worked as well, but she 1)Isn't used to keeping strict track of it all now B)having to hunt for every scrap of unexpected that comes along - and they have, all one after the other - and she is getting on too and doesn't remember, understand totally anymore. I have been watching it for the last 4 months - and she nearly got into a serious disaster - completely oblivious.... Meanwhile I keep getting ****, I am an interferer, I am trying to "run her life" etc etc. One minute I am getting told to stay here, not needed, the next she is panicking and when will I be there. I know her capabilities - bugger all, and I know my brothers - his disabilities are rubbish too, and he will have to come here sooner or later - like it or not. The church lot don't like that at all. Whatever, I am used to being the ********. So it's not about her getting toys and luxuries. It's being able to have her stay in the house, cope with looking after it and herself and my brother. She won't go into a home, and she can't anyway, I've looked into it. Because of the house - it puts her over the threshold for any subsidised anything. Even if she sells it. And that's my brothers life anyway, he also is in that situation, he will need money when he does go blind and can't use his hands at all, living here with me or not. The house is worth bugger all really - due to where it is, and it's being eaten away. Not just the rot, they have had a rat problem too. Thats also been a cause of friction, she thinks that it means she is dirty or something, so there has been a big denial, keep it to ourselves thing about that too. Never mind I am just trying to save her from financial ruin. I have managed to get her 1 hour a week home help and 1 hour a month gardener and a lawn guy goes once a fortnight now in summer months. But it's not enough. Especially for the period she is recovering/having whatever other treatment after this hospital thing. I can't afford it, if I could I would. I can't stay there either, there's health **** happening up my end too, husband - which I'm not going into. Thats another reason she is being resistant - what happens with him.... She can't come here, I can't go there (except for a bit). I have to try and sort whatever I can out for her - and my brother, in whatever way I can manage. Slightly tired of it all, trying to manage my own ****, and theirs too and getting hassled by the whole damn lot of them about it.	pctek (84)
1405957	2015-08-06 03:10:00	And Greg. Please don't get involved. Keep it to yourself, don't go ringing her or anything. You have no idea what a war it would cause. Well, maybe you have a vague idea....but seriously, the church....well you have some idea how thatn goes. It would honestly cause a hell of stink. And make it seriously hard for me to help her.	pctek (84)
1405958	2015-08-06 04:12:00	Dunno why you had to say that. But I can't help anyway unless it's a drastic emergency. I no longer have a car. But yeah, I do know a bit of what goes on behind the scenes. I'll pm you my phone number if there is an emergency that I can assist with. And Greg. Please don't get involved. Keep it to yourself, don't go ringing her or anything. You have no idea what a war it would cause. Well, maybe you have a vague idea....but seriously, the church....well you have some idea how thatn goes. It would honestly cause a hell of stink. And make it seriously hard for me to help her.	Greg (193)
1405959	2015-08-06 05:47:00	Save on power as well. Initial outlay of double sets of cutlery and plates is cheap. Briscoes have a weekly special on those :) I agree Roscoe, I wouldn't be without one. Ken	kenj (9738)
1405960	2015-08-06 08:15:00	Wow! You really make me feel bad for donating. Thanks. I never even read up to the dishwasher, lost me after the first few paragraphs. I dont even have a clue what my donation is helping. That's why the point was missed. I don't normally do blind donations like this but was just saying how you could have reached your target as I very rarely get the chance to speak to those who are asking but have read many on GAL and know how my instinct works before I open up. KK	Kame (312)
1405961	2015-08-06 20:40:00	Wow! You really make me feel bad for donating. Thank you. It will go to getting her some home help while she recovers. The point was.... Things went to crap one after the other. he died, leaving things in a bit of a mess. Then all the appliances died one after the other. That and the funeral cost she had to come up with ate the money she had accumulated from selling his things....the dishwasher was not replaced. She insists she can manage without it, I doubt that, it's an ongoing argument.....she can't stand now, never mind after. She is having surgery.....with all her other health issues, and her current one hour a week home help, it's not enough. I will help for a bit, and then organise some extra help - like an hour every day or whatever I can get her..... And maybe if there was enough, she could get the rat damage sorted too....and the rot. (The funeral was as basic as possible BTW)	pctek (84)
1405962	2015-08-06 21:03:00	It's hard to explain without explaining the whole saga. If I go into detail, there will be a giant stink. As I am not part of their church, they aren't supposed to have anything to do with me. See? And she's stubborn, charity is terrible, she can cope, I'm running her life etc. However. She is 82 and had arthritis for around 42 years, her back is so trashed now - all of it, neck to tail, that she has nerve damage, she can't stand straight, pain all the time (there isn't much you can do for nerve pain), she can't move at all in the morning, she can't do a lot of things. neither can my brother, I can't move there, I can't have them move here. She wouldn't anyway. Him - well thats another matter, later perhaps. The place is falling apart.....all her stuff died - well, they were as old as the hills. Then she gets this new illness.... All one after the other. After my dad died, things are STILL not entirely sorted with that. Kind of hard doing all this remotely too, and there was another bit I can't go into detail about, which made me even less popular with that lot. Never mind I'm just trying to sort the mess. So....as you know single pensions aren't high. My brother is on Invalids so that doesn't help much either. My dad left a small mortgage and nothing else other than some tools. It's not about toys as I said, it's necessity. My brother agrees, we are going behind her back somewhat, especially this damn dishwasher. maybe it can be fixed, dunno....but all she qualifies for with govt assistance is one hour a week home help. It's not enough, hang washing out, cook, clean, do dishes, all the day to day stuff you do....her eyes are bad too, she has retinopathy and cataracts. She doesn't notice things as much as she used to. I did. She needs all the help - machine and cleaners that she can get. At least while she is our=t from hospital, that plus the existing, well she has been told do nothing for 6 weeks at least...perhaps longer.	pctek (84)
1405963	2015-08-06 21:48:00	Sounds more like a cult then a church	plod (107)
1405964	2015-08-06 21:53:00	Its pretty clear to me she needs respite care. And you do not necessarily need her permission to place her.	DeSade (984)
1405965	2015-08-06 22:28:00	Though not knowing the full story,how much money is going to this so called Church? If there is this could be the first thing to go though beliefs can do funny things with ones head	Lawrence (2987)
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