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| Thread ID: 140037 | 2015-08-09 23:08:00 | Monday Laughs:....Foibles of women, the Scottish husband, and Hell in a soup bowl.... | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1406230 | 2015-08-09 23:08:00 | . . While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.' ********************************* My colleague and I were eating lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She said she'd driven down in a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'. ********************************* My sister in law has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the boot for safety. ********************************* I was hanging out with a woman friend when we saw a lady with a nose-ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head tthe other way?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned... ********************************* I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags had not showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?' ********************************* While working at a Pizza Parlour I saw a woman ordering a small pizza to go. She appeared to be alone, and the cook asked her if she would like it cut into four pieces or six. She thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 please; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.' ********************************* A THOUGHTFUL SCOTTISH HUSBAND Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out for a pint at the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, 'Margaret - put your hat and coat on lassie.' She replied, ' Awe Jock that's awfly nice - are you taking me to the pub wi you?' 'Nae', Jock replied, 'I'm switching the central heating off while I'm oot.' ********************************* A Holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, 'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.' "I will show you", the Lord replied, and led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.....In the middle of the room was a large round table.. In the middle of the table was a large pot of soup, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly, and they appeared to be starving. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of soup and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell. They went to the next room and opened the door....and it was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of soup which made the holy man's mouth water.. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons strapped to their arms, but here the people were well nourished and plump, talking amongst themselves and laughing. The holy man said, 'I don't understand. 'It is simple,' said the Lord. 'It requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other, but the greedy think only of themselves. Cheers Billy 8-{) :) A few minor morals worth thiniking about! |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1406231 | 2015-08-09 23:31:00 | Not as good as your anecdotes Billy, but I just got back from Macas with a takeaway "breakfast" to eat while reading Monday laughs. On ordering a black coffee, the SYT (sweet young thing) at the drive through taking my order asked if I wanted milk in my black coffee ... :rolleyes: |
WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1406232 | 2015-08-31 04:13:00 | That Scottish joke was hilarious... reminds me of a few people. | tcam478 (17385) | ||
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