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| Thread ID: 140262 | 2015-09-14 05:24:00 | Monday Laughs:....Hallmark Cards, Five Horses, and the IRD.......... | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1408371 | 2015-09-14 05:24:00 | . . Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day? Some examples: ............ My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at the wheel... I noticed your cat. Sorry! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder... 'What the hell was I thinking?' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad nobody can stand your husband. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I must confess, you have brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Happy birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We have been friends for a very long time. What say we stop? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm so miserable without you. It's almost like you're here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? ********************************* This is mythical and deep... truly beautiful......... A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She called Five Horses". The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife. What does it mean?" The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It mean ...... . . . NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!" ********************************* The Last 10 cents A father walks into a restaurant with his young son...He gives the young boy three 10 cent coins to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face....The father realises the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the 10 cents but is still choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his pants; takes hold of the boy's' testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.. tighter and tighter!!! After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last of the 10cents, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? " 'No,' the woman replied. I'm with Inland Revenue....' Cheers Billy 8-{) :) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1408372 | 2015-09-14 07:35:00 | Awesome | gary67 (56) | ||
| 1408373 | 2015-09-14 09:17:00 | Thanks very much for the funnies, Billy. I look forward to them each week. Great stuff! | Roscoe (6288) | ||
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