Forum Home
PC World Chat
Thread ID: 140596	2015-11-10 01:12:00	Tuesday Laughs:...Seventeen ways to start a fight.......Monday wasn't so good for me!	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1411143	2015-11-10 01:12:00	. . My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on the TV?' I said, 'dust.' And then the fight started... ***** My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And then the fight started... ***** Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 80 kph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of ten years replied, "Yeah, and can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" And then the fight started... ****** I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!" So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?" And then the fight started... ***** My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' So, I bought her a scale. And then the fight started... ****** When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a petrol station. And then the fight started... ***** After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age I looked in my pockets and realised I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.' And then the fight started... ***** My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started... ***** I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah", I said "she can order for herself." And then the fight started... ***** A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And then the fight started... ***** A California man was laying in his bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex, she spent the next hour just scratching his nuts-- something she seemed to love to do. As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, 'Why do you love doing that?' 'Because,'she replied, 'I really miss mine.' And then the fight started... ....... ***** My wife proudly showed me her new dress that she said she had bought for a ridiculous price. I suggested that it was not so much a ridiculous price as and absurd figure. And then the fight started . . . . . ***** When we visited the marriage counsellor I told him that I had taken his advice: I try to make my marriage more exciting but my wife always finds out. And then the fight started . . . . . ***** My daughter was asking questions about her past. "Was I adopted?" she asked. "Yes," I said, "but they brought you back." And then the fight started . . . . . ***** I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Corona for $19.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $12.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And then the fight started... . ***** I was discussing bills with my wife and she asked for $190 to help cover it. I felt she wanted too much money and said "Well I do let you live here for free" And then the fight started... . ***** My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday. And then the fight started... . Cheers Billy 8-{) :devil	Billy T (70)
1411144	2015-11-10 06:27:00	She was outside pulling weeds on a hot summer day when her husband walked up and asked her what they were having for dinner. Irritated by the thought of him sitting in the air conditioned house while she labored away on the weeds, she snapped, "I can't believe you're asking me about supper right now! Pretend I'm out of town, go inside and make dinner yourself!" So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, potatoes, garlic bread, and a tall beer. His wife walked in just about the time he was finishing up and asked, "Where's my dinner?" He replied, "I thought you were out of town." And then the fight started.... ------------------------------------- I, for one, like Roman Numerals	tutaenui (1724)
1411145	2015-11-10 07:20:00	And then the fight started ... :D:D:D Thanks guys!	WalOne (4202)
1