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| Thread ID: 142005 | 2016-04-10 23:21:00 | Monday Laughs: The Organist, Romance, and Engineers (Part 1) | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
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| 1418866 | 2016-04-10 23:21:00 | . . A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation and the very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. So, one of the ladies approached her about the problem and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them over her breasts, which should cause them to shrink in size. The voluptuous organist reluctantly agreed to try it, but the Lady warned her not to taste any of the green persimmons, because they are so sour they would make her mouth pucker up, and she wouldn't be able to talk properly for a while. The following Sunday morning the Minister walked up to the pulpit and said.... Dew to thircumthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tewday. ******************************** A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands and gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' ... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee cuddle." The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed. And the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg." The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed, and the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man glanced down with a furrowed brow. "Well, noo," he said, "my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time." "Really?" said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad, nodding. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request. Then he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?" ******************************** Understanding Engineers #1. Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway." ---------------------------- Understanding Engineers #2. To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. ---------------------------- Understanding Engineers #3. A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" ---------------------------- Understanding Engineers #4. What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. To be continued........... Cheers Billy 8-{) :) Sorry about the video failure last week, try this instead, it is too good to miss: www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/eqEkPjUbmIA?rel=0 (www.youtube-nocookie.com) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1418867 | 2016-04-11 01:55:00 | Thanks, Billy. I am keeping those engineer jokes for my son. | Marnie (4574) | ||
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