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Thread ID: 142218	2016-05-21 07:07:00	A few jokes for Saturday	kenj (9738)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1420781	2016-05-21 07:07:00	Is Billy still away? If so, here are a few jokes . Hope they are not oldies :) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,, Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife - she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months . " Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over . . . . women like that are hard to find . " ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ No one believes seniors . . . . Everyone thinks they are senile . An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary . The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired . Holding hands, they walked back to their old school . It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally . On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet . Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home . There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars! Jerry said, We've got to give it back . . Sally said, Finders keepers . She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic . The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighbourhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door . Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday? Sally said, No . Jerry said, Shes lying . She hid it up in the attic . Sally said, Don't believe him, hes getting senile The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him . One said: Tell us the story from the beginning . Jerry said, Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday . . . . . . . . . . The first police officer turned to his partner and said, we’re outta here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . . . . and then she asked, "what's the best birth control to use after 50 . I replied "nudity" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . When you think about it, God was the best inventor of all time . He took a rib from man and made a loudspeaker from it . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Told my wife that the best way to prevent sagging was to eat untill the wrinkles disappear . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . My wife said "Wotcha doing today?" "Nothing" I said "But you did nothing yesterday" I said "ain't finished yet" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . An Indian, a Maori, a Muslim and an Australian were walking along an Australian beach when the Maori stumbled over a bottle in the sand . He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . a Genie appeared ! "I can only grant four wishes !" the Genie said . "Since there are four of you, you may have one wish apiece !" Pointing to the Maori, he said, "Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish . " The Maori thought for a moment, then said, "I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland of Aotearoa . " Poof! It was done! Thousands of ships appeared on the skyline . The Indian said, "I wish for enough aircraft to take all fellow Indians back to our homeland!" Poof! It was done! Row after row of aircraft filled the sky . The Muslim said, "I wish for a hundred thousand camels to take all of my people away from this horrible country infested with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve the Prophet Allah . " Poof! It was done! A hundred thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach . Turning to the Australian, the Genie asked, "And what is your wish ?" The Aussie watched as the loaded aircraft began moving toward the runway, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out intothe sunset, then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of the camels and riding off . He said, "Look mate . It really doesn't get any better than this! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .	kenj (9738)
1420782	2016-05-21 10:02:00	And another one Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a tenant for their terrace house. After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a nearby city center studio for a few weeks and that she would like the room from Mondays to Thursdays, but would pay for the whole week. Doris showed her the house and they agreed to start straight away. "There's just one problem," explained the model. "Because of my job, I have to take a bath every night, and I notice you don't have a bath." "That's not a problem," replied Doris. "We have a tin bath out in the yard and we bring it in to the living room in front of the fire and fill it with hot water." "What about your husband?" asked the model. "Oh, he plays darts most weekdays, so he will be out in the evenings," replied Doris. "Good," said the model. "Now that that's settled, I'll go to the studio and see you tonight." That evening, Fred dutifully went to his darts match while Doris prepared the bath for the model. After stripping off, the model stepped into the bath. Doris was amazed to see that she had no pubic hair. The model noticed Doris's staring eyes, so she smiled and explained that it is part of her job to shave herself, especially when modeling swimwear or underclothes. Later when Fred returned, Doris related this oddity and he did not believe her. "It's true, I tell you!" said Doris. "Look, if you don't believe me, tomorrow night I'll leave the curtains slightly open and you can peek in and see for yourself." The next night, Fred left as usual and Doris prepared the bath for the model. As the model stepped naked into the bath, Doris stood behind her. Doris looked towards the curtains and pointed towards the model's naked pubic area. Then she lifted up her skirt and, wearing no panties, pointed to her own hairy mass. Later Fred returned and they retired to bed. "Well, do you believe me now?" she asked Fred. "Yes," he replied. "I've never seen anything like it in my life. But why did you lift up your skirt and show yourself?" "Just to show you the difference." answered Doris. "But I guess you've seen me millions of times." "Yes," said Fred, "I have - but the rest of the dart team hadn't." Ken	kenj (9738)
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