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Thread ID: 142130	2016-05-02 05:35:00	Monday Laughs: The farmer's bull, some Irish stuff, free sex, and one for Trump.....	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1419922	2016-05-02 05:35:00	. . A Farmer needs to buy a bull to service his cows but has to borrow the money from the Bank. The Banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how his investment is doing, and the Farmer complains to him that the bull just eats grass and won't even look at the cows. So, the Banker then suggests that a Veterinarian have a look at the bull. The next week the Banker comes back to see if the Vet had helped. The Farmer looks very pleased: "The bull serviced all my cows twice, then broke through the fence and serviced all my neighbor's cows three times." "Wow," says the Banker, "What did the Vet do to that bull?" "Just gave him some pills," replied the Farmer. "What kind of pills?" asked the Banker. "I don't know," says the Farmer, "but they sort of taste like peppermints." ********************************* Doctor asks a pregnant prostitute... "Do you know who the father is?" She replies indignantly: "For goodness sakes, if you ate a tin of beans would you know which one made you fart?" ********************************* A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with every Fill-Up of petrol.' Soon Paddy pulled in, filled his tank with petrol and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close. The number was 7. Sorry... No sex this time.' A week later, Paddy, along with his friend Mike, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Paddy guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.' As they were driving away, Mike said to Paddy, 'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.' Paddy replied, 'Not at all, Mike. Sure an' it's not rigged at all. My wife won it twice last week.' ********************************* Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table; asked him something in French (which Murphy couldn't understand); so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner..... After which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up. Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. And you know what? - to this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business. ********************************* Snow White & The Seven Dwarves The seven dwarves always left to go work in the mine early each morning. As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores. Every day, as lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine. One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch she saw that there had been a major cave-in. Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived. 'Hello!....Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me? Hello! For a long while, there was no answer. Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, 'Hello! Is anyone down there?' Then, just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine, singing .....'Vote for Donald Trump.... Vote for Donald Trump!' Snow White fell to her knees, crossed herself and cried, 'Oh, thank you, thank you God! At least Dopey is still alive!' Cheers Billy 8-{) :clap	Billy T (70)
1419923	2016-05-02 08:15:00	A newly qualified blonde teacher gets a job as a physical education coach of 16 year olds. She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun kicking a ball. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. 'You ok?' s he says. 'Yes.' he says. 'You can go and play with the other kids you know' s he says. 'It's best I stay here.' he says. 'Why's that sweetie?' says the blonde. The boy looks at her incredulously and says, "Because I'm the Goalie!"	tutaenui (1724)
1419924	2016-05-02 08:19:00	Three teenaged boys are walking down a dirt country road when they come across a sheep caught in a fence, it's rear end towards the road. The first boy a South African looks at the sheep and says "I wish that was Miley Cyrus". The second boy a Kiwi looks at the sheep and says "I wish that was Taylor Swift". The third boy an Australian thought for a moment, looked around and said "I wish it was dark".	tutaenui (1724)
1419925	2016-05-04 02:15:00	Out of Aus. HERE (www.youtube.com)	B.M. (505)
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