Forum Home
PC World Chat
Thread ID: 142231	2016-05-24 06:37:00	Ok, So its Tuesday Laughs (again)....Understanding Engineers Part 2....+ Sausages....	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1420886	2016-05-24 06:37:00	. . Understanding Engineers #3. A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" ---------------------------- Understanding Engineers #4. What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. ---------------------------- Understanding Engineers #5. The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" ---------------------------- Understanding Engineers #6. Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer, just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic-waste pipeline through a recreational area?" ---------------------------- Understanding Engineers #7. Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. ---------------------------- Understanding Engineers #8. An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one month and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one month and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool!" ********************************* Best Things to Say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk.......................... "The Doctor at the Blood Bank told me this might happen." "This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time-management course you sent me." "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!" "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." "I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress." "Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." "The coffee machine is broken..." "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..." and, probably best and safest of all......... "....... in Jesus' name, Amen. Yes, did you want me?" ********************************* A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs. Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts. On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store... Her husband speaks English! So what were you thinking then? I worry about you lot sometimes! Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
1420887	2016-05-24 08:14:00	What a relief - TG you're back! :)	R.M. (561)
1420888	2016-05-24 08:39:00	A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!” “No, I’m sorry,” replied the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri, doc.”	tutaenui (1724)
1