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Thread ID: 142161	2016-05-08 23:21:00	Monday Laughs: Th' 3 Hillbillies...Beer Smileage, Scots Romance, & Engineers.........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1420271	2016-05-08 23:21:00	. . Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze. 1st Hillbilly says: 'My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air-conditioner.' 2nd Hillbilly says: 'Why is that stupid?' 1st Hillbilly says: 'We ain't got no 'lectricity!' 2nd Hillbilly says: 'That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin' machines!' 1st Hillbilly says: 'Why is that so stupid?' 2nd Hillbilly says: ''Cause we ain't got no plummin' or 'lectricity! 3rd Hillbilly says: 'That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some change, and I found six condoms in thar.' 1st and 2nd Hillbillies chorus: 'Well, what's so dumb 'bout that?' 3rd Hillbilly says: 'Heck, She ain't got no dick! ******************************** A recent study found that the average New Zealander walks about 1500 kilometres a year. Another study found that the average New Zealander drinks 100 Litres of beer a year. That means the average New Zealander gets about 15 Kilometres per litre! Bloody good value that, given that we are equipped with an automatic transmission with only one ratio! ******************************** One matron to another: "I don't want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything dear, but I can still fit into the same earrings I wore in high school." ******************************** A Scottish Romance: A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands and gazing out over the Loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' ... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee cuddle." The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed. And the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg." The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed, and the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man glanced down with a furrowed brow. "Well, noo," he said, "my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time." "Really?" said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad, nodding. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request. Then he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?" ******************************** Engineers: [Parts 1 & 2 of 4] Understanding Engineers #1. Two engineering students were biking across a University Campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway." ---------------------------- Understanding Engineers #2. To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
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