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Thread ID: 54977	2005-02-27 21:49:00	Monday Laughs: Life Sciences	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
328735	2005-02-27 21:49:00	ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy OFFICE MATHEMATICS Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime SHOPPING MATHEMATICS A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. PHILOSOPHY: HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. MEDICINE: LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. PSYCHOLOGY: DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. PSYCHOLOGY: PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
328736	2005-02-27 22:29:00	Distraught and guilty, a woman goes to her priest to seek forgiveness. "Forgive me father," she says " for I have sinned." "What is it you have done, my child?" asks the priest. "Last night my boyfriend made love to me seven times," the young lassie says. "You must go home," says the priest, "and suck the juice from seven lemons." "Will that cleanse me of my sins?" the girl asks. "No," the holy man replies, "but it will wipe that smug grin off your face." :D	smithie 38 (6684)
328737	2005-02-27 22:59:00	Billy T says "A woman marries a man expecting he will change". Indeed, and what about the three words a bride has in her head as she enters the Church :- Aisle Altar Hymn.........	TonyF (246)
328738	2005-02-28 01:12:00	ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy And thus the whole game runs on for another generation with only the DNA from the lowest of the bunch....... If we ever wondered why the human race is now evolving more stupid, this surely explains it! :(	personthingy (1670)
328739	2005-02-28 01:15:00	Hot Tunes Meets Monday Laughs....... 'Me Minus You' a tune from the early thirties, sung by Rudy Vallee, also by Connee Boswell.... Me minus you means nothing at all, but me plus you equals love...... Listen to this short Rudy Vallee clip (www.amazon.com), you have to scroll down to the tune. Whilst on the page there are plenty of other well known Rudy Vallee toons.	Terry Porritt (14)
328740	2005-02-28 05:02:00	An Email from my kids says :- WHAT GENDER?? You may not know that many non-living things have a gender For example... 1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them 2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. 3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated. 4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part. 5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water. 6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on. 7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. 8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom. 9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. 10) Remote Control -- Female..... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.	TonyF (246)
328741	2005-02-28 09:58:00	Cyrus says "Daddy, how was I born?" Dad says "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN . Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe . We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive . As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said "You've Got Male" . Why Computers Sometimes Crash! by Dr . Seuss . If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report . If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash! If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall . . . . . . And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang . When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM, and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!	agent (30)
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