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| Thread ID: 57895 | 2005-05-15 22:07:00 | Monday Laughs 16-5: Slightly risque celebrity quotes, but...... | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 355485 | 2005-05-15 22:07:00 | "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." *Rodney Dangerfield "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." Lynn Lavner "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." *Camille Paglia "Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant." *George Burns "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." *Sharon Stone "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor.) "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." *Robin Williams "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." *Billy Crystal "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." *Robert De Niro "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" *Dustin Hoffman "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'." Jerry Seinfeld "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." *Robin Williams "It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." *Joan Rivers "Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy." *Steve Martin "You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life." *Elmo Phillips "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." *Oscar Wilde "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns Cheers Billy 8-{) ;) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 355486 | 2005-05-16 06:33:00 | [ Deleted. Sorry. THought it was a bit offensive............m] | mark c (247) | ||
| 355487 | 2005-05-16 06:52:00 | "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen :yuck: :yuck: :yuck: That is sick (eww) and you ought to be ashamed (no offence) :annoyed: |
techiekid (7219) | ||
| 355488 | 2005-05-16 09:58:00 | Hysterical :p :p :p | JJJJJ (528) | ||
| 355489 | 2005-05-16 10:31:00 | Your running out of ideas Billy :p | bob_doe_nz (92) | ||
| 355490 | 2005-05-16 11:01:00 | Your running out of ideas Billy :p Never Bob, I'm spoiled for choice. :@@: Cheers Billy 8-{) :thumbs: |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 355491 | 2005-05-16 11:08:00 | Good on yer Billyoh. I thought they were good. | mark c (247) | ||
| 355492 | 2005-05-16 11:16:00 | An oldie worth repeating :------ One day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job and the ranch looks great . You should go into town and kick up your heels . " The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night . However, one o'clock came and he didn't return . Two o'clock and no hired hand . He returned around two-thirty and found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace . She quietly called him over to her . "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said . Trembling, he did as she directed . "Now take off my boots . " He did so, slowly . "Now take off my socks . " He did . "Now take off my skirt . " He did . "Now take off my bra . " Again with trembling hands he did as he was told . "Now," she said, "take off my panties . " He slowly pulled them down and off . Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes to town again, I'll fire you on the spot . " |
TonyF (246) | ||
| 355493 | 2005-05-16 21:48:00 | I thought this was good too: Why Computers Sometimes Crash! By Dr . Seuss . (Read this to yourself aloud - it's great!) If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report . If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash! If label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall . ! And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang . When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM, and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom! Well, that clears things up for me . How about you? Enjoy sarel |
sarel (2490) | ||
| 355494 | 2005-05-16 22:13:00 | A photo of a brave man taken at a womens golf protest some time ago : sal.neoburn.net |
andrew93 (249) | ||
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