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Thread ID: 58142 2005-05-22 22:54:00 Monday Laughs: Wild Sex Billy T (70) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
357596 2005-05-23 06:43:00 Dunno about a sick mind,but I do have a tired looking chicken..... Metla (12)
357597 2005-05-23 06:45:00 No it wasent and whats it got to do with you
Would you please say why you think Jams ought not venture a comment ?? 		TonyF (246)
357598 2005-05-23 06:56:00 Words Women Use

As by a verry confessant woman said this while being checked by 10 male and female phscologists

"FINE"

This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up . NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks . This will cause you to have one of those arguments .


"FIVE MINUTES"

This is half an hour . It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade .


"NOTHING"

If you ask her what is wrong and she says "Nothing" , this means something and you should be on your toes . "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards . "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine . "




"GO AHEAD"
(with raised eyebrows)

This is a dare . One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine . "


"GO AHEAD"
(normal eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care . " You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off .


"LOUD SIGH"

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement > very misunderstood by men . A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing . "


"SOFT SIGH"

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement . "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand . She is content . Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content .



"THAT'S OKAY"

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man . "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retribution for whatever it is that you have done . "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead . " At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble .


"PLEASE DO"

This is not a statement, it is an offer . A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done . You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay . "


"THANKS"

A woman is thanking you . Do not faint, just say "you're welcome . "


"THANKS A LOT"

This is much different from "Thanks . " A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you . It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh . " Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing . " 		techiekid (7219)
357599 2005-05-23 09:53:00 Well this is probably been posted before but here goes

For all you lexophiles...(Lover of words.)

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
31. A mans home is his castle in a manor of speaking.
32. Dijon Vu - The same mustard as before.
33. Practice safe eating, always use condiments.
34. Shotgun Wedding - A case of wife or death.
35. A man needs a mistress just to break the manogamy.
36. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
37. Dancing cheek to cheek is really a form of floor-play.
38. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
39. Reading while sunbathing makes you well read.
40. When two egotists meet, its an I for an I. 		bob_doe_nz (92)
357600 2005-05-23 09:53:00 Two deaf lesbians walking down the street with their hands in each others knickers.
Do you think they were lip reading? 		Baldy (26)
357601 2005-05-23 10:58:00 Two deaf lesbians walking down the street with their hands in each others knickers.
Do you think they were lip reading?

:O now that IS shocking! 		NZLcyclist (329)
357602 2005-05-23 11:08:00 This has got to be one of the cleverest
E-mails I've received in awhile.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
Is not really new, as you'll see by the last section, apologies if you've had this before


DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE


THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME


ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE


ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
When you rearrange the letters
(With no letters left over and using each letter only once):
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS 		Marnie (4574)
357603 2005-05-23 18:16:00 What is Marketing


You see a gorgeous girl at a party .
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich . Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing




You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl .
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,

"He's very rich . Marry him . "

That's Advertising .




You see a gorgeous girl at a party .
You go up to her and get her telephone number .
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich . Marry me . "
That's Telemarketing .



You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl .
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink .

You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it,
offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?"

That's Public Relations .



You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl .
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich, I want to marry you . "
That's Brand Recognition .



You see a gorgeous girl at a party .
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich . Marry me"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face .
That's Customer Feedback

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Don't mention anything about my age . . . . . . :D 		Renmoo (66)
357604 2005-05-23 21:45:00 You oldies have very sick minds
Do too!!!!!!!!! :D 		personthingy (1670)
357605 2005-05-24 02:02:00 You oldies have very sick mindsOh, so 21 is old now, is it? :illogical :groan:



Don't mention anything about my age . . . . . . OK . . . but you and techiekid will beat some of the "oldies" hands down for understanding females already . :p 		FoxyMX (5)
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