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Thread ID: 58373	2005-05-30 00:25:00	Monday Laughs: Always be nice to nurses	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
359625	2005-05-30 07:33:00	A doctor is going round the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the chap is laying half dead. "Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?" asks the doctor. "Oh, no," replies the nurse, "I gave him eight tablets every two hours!" At the next bed the next patient also appears half dead. "Nurse, did you give this man one tablet every twelve hours?" "Oops, I gave him twelve tablets every one hour," replies the nurse. Unfortunately at the next bed the patient is well and truly deceased, not an ounce of life. "Nurse," asks the doctor, "did you prick his boil?" "OH MY GOODNESS!" replies the nurse.	Cicero (40)
359626	2005-05-30 07:42:00	Now who is going to post a third version ??????	TonyF (246)
359627	2005-05-30 08:16:00	Now who is going to post a third version ?????? Just two repeated jokes is in the spirit of Monday Laughs. :lol:	vapo (5203)
359628	2005-05-30 08:28:00	How can we live with that happening?It is just too much-oh woe is me etc. :)	Cicero (40)
359629	2005-05-30 10:08:00	None of those jokes were very funny. Well, not enough to make me laugh, which does funny for me. I'll email my old builder pal in Tauranga. :groan: .........m Some were a bit 'off' in my estimation. Wonder what the Silicon Sallys think?	mark c (247)
359630	2005-05-30 11:06:00	Ok here goes . . . . . Sherlock Holmes and his friend Mr Watson are gay . One night when they were getting ready for bed, Sherlock darts off out to the kitchen and returns with a lemon and a rather large knife . Watson is petrified when Sherlock makes him undress and kneel on the bed . His eyes are wide with fear as Sherlock proceeds to cut the lemon and Watson feels the juice running down the crack of his a@#e . Finally he can stand the suspense no longer and turns to Sherlock and says what’s going on? A lemon entry my dear Watson .	EX-WESTY (221)
359631	2005-05-30 11:23:00	The Teacher's Gift It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's daughter came up and gave her teacher a box. The teacher said, I'll bet these are flowers!” The girl replied, “How did you know?" “Just a lucky guess,” she said. Next, a boy whose family owned a candy store came up and gave the teacher a box. She said that she knew it was candy. When the boy asked how she knew, she again said, “Just a lucky guess.'” Finally, a boy whose father owned a liquor store came up and gave the teacher a box, but one of the box's corners was damp from a leak. The teacher asked the boy if it was wine. The boy said, “No.” She touched the leak and put it to her tongue and asked if it was champagne. The boy again said no. Finally, she gave up and asked him what was in the box. He said happily, “A puppy!”	vapo (5203)
359632	2005-05-30 19:45:00	>> Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all >> day long . No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he >> couldn't . >> The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming . But every once >> in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that >> said: >> "Dave, don't worry about it . You aren't the first medical >> practitioner to sleep with one of their patient and you won't be >> the last . And you're >> single . Just let it go . . " But invariably another voice in his >> head would bring him back to reality, >> >> Whispering: . . . . . >> >> >> >> >> >> Dave . . . . . . . . . . . . . . >> >> >> >> >> >> > . you're a vet" . :eek: >>	Nyuuji (5460)
359633	2005-05-30 22:13:00	>>Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty............That's Sick and Twisted I like it :D	personthingy (1670)
359634	2005-05-31 09:00:00	The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a ***!" "Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!" Thinking quickly, the guide replied, "No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a * fish!" "Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a *!" Once in the boat, they marvelled at the size of the monster. "Father, that's the biggest Son of a * I've ever seen." "Yes, it is a big Son of a *. What should I do with it?" "Why, eat it of course. You've never tasted anything as good as Son of a *!" Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip. "Take a look at this big Son of a * I caught!" Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!" "It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a * fish!" "Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a *?" "Why, eat it of course. The guide said nothing compares to the taste of a Son of a *." Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to visit in a few days, and that they should fix the Son of a * for his dinner. "I'll even clean the Son of a *", she said. As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in. "What are you doing Sister?" "Father wants me to clean this big Son of a * for the new Bishop's dinner." "Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!" "No, no, no, it's called a Son of a * fish." "Really? Well, in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and that Son of a * can be the main course! Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a *." On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal. The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent. The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?" "I caught that Son of a *!" proclaimed the proud priest. The Bishop's eyes opened wide, but he said nothing. "And I cleaned the Son of a *!" exclaimed the Sister The Bishop sat silent in disbelief. The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a *, using a special recipe!" The new Bishop looked around at each of them. Slowly a big smile crept across his face as he said, "You fkrs are my kind of people!"	Strommer (42)
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