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Thread ID: 58600	2005-06-06 00:23:00	Monday Laughs: More trivia than funny, but worth sharing......	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
361526	2005-06-06 00:23:00	In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons . Those cannons fired spherical iron cannon balls . It was necessary to keep a good supply near each cannon, but they had to find a way to prevent them from rolling about the deck . The best storage method devised was a square based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine which rested on sixteen . Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon . There was only one problem . . . how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others . . . . . KEEP READING The solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey" with 16 round indentations . But, if this plate was made of iron, the iron balls quickly would rust to it . The solution to the rusting problem was to make the Monkeys out of brass . However, the landlubbers who designed them didn't realise that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled . Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey . KEEP READING Thus, it was quite literally, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" . And all this time, you thought that was an off-colour expression, didn't you? Cheers Billy 8-{) :thumbs:	Billy T (70)
361527	2005-06-06 00:29:00	Well, its been cold enough this weekend to freeze the nuts off a bulldozer....	godfather (25)
361528	2005-06-06 00:32:00	Excellent, Billy, I love it! :thumbs: History from the 1500s! The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be . Here are some facts about the 1500s: Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June . However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour . Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married . Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water . The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children-last of all the babies . By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it . Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water . " Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath . It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof . When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof . Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs . " There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house . This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed . Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection . That's how canopy beds came into existence . The floor was dirt . Only the wealthy had something other than dirt . Hence the saying "dirt poor . " The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing . As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside . A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway . Hence the saying a "thresh hold . " In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire . Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot . They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat . They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day . Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while . Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old . " Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special . When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off . It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon . " They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat . " Those with money had plates made of pewter . Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death . This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous . Bread was divided according to status . Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust . " Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky . The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days . Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial . They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up . Hence the custom of holding a "wake . " England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people . So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave . When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive . So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell . Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer . " And that's the truth . . . Anyone still pine for the "Good Old Days"? :D	FoxyMX (5)
361529	2005-06-06 00:46:00	HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT KNOWING THESE THINGS? The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Coca-Cola was originally green. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury. Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% ( now get this...) The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000 Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910. The youngest pope was 11 years old. The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great King from history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs- Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month? A. Conception. Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"? A. One thousand Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? A. All invented by women. Q. What is the only food that doesn't go off? A. Honey In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "Goodnight, sleep tight". It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month or what we know today as the honeymoon. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's" Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice. In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King, The King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F**K (with the other letters in!) (Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that came from. ;) In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language Better informed now, are we not?! :D	FoxyMX (5)
361530	2005-06-06 00:47:00	The saying "rule of thumb" is said to derive from an old law that allowed a man to beat his wife (for disciplinary purposes only) as long as the stick was no thicker than his thumb. Roundly denounced as a myth, there is some support from a document that attributed it to a Judge Buller in 1782. Hmmm...	godfather (25)
361531	2005-06-06 00:51:00	Good one Billy. Pity Winston didn't see this before going on the Brass Monkey Rally this weekend - it may have set his mind at rest... :D John	John H (8)
361532	2005-06-06 03:41:00	When you think about the differences between work and prison, maybe prison isn't so bad... IN PRISON.......You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK........You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle. IN PRISON.......You get three meals a day. AT WORK........You get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it. IN PRISON.......You get time off for good behaviour. AT WORK........You get rewarded for good behaviour with more work. IN PRISON.......A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK........You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. IN PRISON........You can watch TV and play games. AT WORK.........You get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON.......You get your own toilet. AT WORK........You have to share. IN PRISON.......They allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK........You cannot even speak to your family and friends. IN PRISON.......All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required. AT WORK........You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. IN PRISON.......You spend most of your life looking through bars from inside wanting to get out. AT WORK........You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars. IN PRISON......There are wardens who are often sadistic. AT WORK.......They are called supervisors. IN PRISON.......You have unlimited time to read e-mail jokes. AT WORK........You get fired if you get caught. NOW GET BACK TO WORK!	smithie 38 (6684)
361533	2005-06-06 05:03:00	In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King, The King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F**K (with the other letters in!) (Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that came from. ;) Really? I was told it was because in the heyday of sailors, by the time they'd landed in a port, the sailors were incredibly horney. They'd take the young girls, and rape them. They were found out, and charged "For Unlawful Carnel Knowlegde", or F**K	Edward (31)
361534	2005-06-06 06:23:00	Hmmm . . . well it is probably one of those words that has several different origins of meaning so who knows which version is correct? I think I like mine better than yours, though . ;)	FoxyMX (5)
361535	2005-06-06 06:33:00	Hmmm... well it is probably one of those words that has several different origins of meaning so who knows which version is correct? I think I like mine better than yours, though. ;) I believe it is a truncation of the word foculation used in Shakespeare's Bawdy Another common word is Posh, which derived from Port Outward Starboard Home which was stamped on the tickets of those travelling to and from India first class, it gave them the shady side of the ship when passing through the tropics.	godfather (25)
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