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Thread ID: 58705	2005-06-09 10:34:00	Should I go to the school ball?	Renmoo (66)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
362512	2005-06-12 12:57:00	The fact that you want people to decide for you is kind of sad........and of all topics...wether or not you should go to the ball???. Your asking for a full on war of insults.... i'll kick it off... your obviously a little insecure about the whole ball subject, Nervous.. in saying this its best you do not go, as you will more than likley make yousefl look like a bit of a fool in front of the opposite sex. So be a nerd and stay at home. Looks like it's time for war. First, I'm not what you think. I won't say myself as a nerd or a geek. However, I admit that at times I know a lot more computer-related knowledge compare to teenagers that are similar to me. Second, I am a sane, normal human being who is able to make my own decision. I can decide on my own the decisions that I should make and execute. Thirdly, I started this thread is because I wanted to know what do other people think about school ball. Being an asian, I don't have any idea on what to expect in this highly fascinating event. Concepts such as wearing a suit to attend a formal event or bringing a partner to a ball is something really new and "weird" to me. My thinking is that these things are only reserved for when you are in University or attend a wedding. Lastly, I see that a lot of people enjoy this thread as it bring back old, sweet memory dancing with the opposite sex and enjoying their time. They are generous enough to share with us their knowledge and experience. This is something very valuable to me as I know what to expect next year. I hope I won't cause you anymore misunderstanding, Jams (or rather, James). Cheers :)	Renmoo (66)
362513	2005-06-12 23:23:00	What does being an Asian got anything to do with going to balls? From what I know, balls are a worldwide thing, not just for Kiwis. Has it changed since.. !? :eek: I find it quite ironic that you say you can make up your own mind, when you started the thread with a 'yes or no question'. I bet you didn't know you were going to get sweet memories from other members before they appeared.	techie (7177)
362514	2005-06-12 23:41:00	What does being an Asian got anything to do with going to balls? From what I know, balls are a worldwide thing, not just for Kiwis. Has it changed since.. !? :eek:.From what James says, it would appear that not all asain countries are cursed with a near total loss of local culture that is replaced with an cloned american substitute. If only NZ could boast the same! I find it quite ironic that you say you can make up your own mind, when you started the thread with a 'yes or no question'. I bet you didn't know you were going to get sweet memories from other members before they appeared.If you cared to look back a bit, i'll think you'll find that James "made up his own mind" and announced the decision very early in this thread. It's also quite predictable that people would start to tell stories based on personal experiance. There's nothing unusual about this in the PC World chat section, or for that matter in the main computer forum!	personthingy (1670)
362515	2005-06-13 00:00:00	This thread could morph into a really interesting discussion on rites of passage in other cultures. What does being an Asian got anything to do with going to balls? From what I know, balls are a worldwide thing, not just for Kiwis.That statement seems to me to demonstrate a really narrow world view. To use extreme examples, what does an African Masai tribesman or a someone from the New Guinea Highlands know of formal balls? The transition from child to adult is marked in a huge number of different ways. The formal school ball is a very white Anglo/American construct. That's not to say it isn't valid, but it it is by no means the only thing that happens. James, what sort of thing happens in Asian culture (specifically yours, I guess) to mark this time of life? P.S. I think it is interesting James that you identify yourself as "Asian". It is my opinion that the whole Winston Peters-fuelled stuff about "Asian immigration" could be cooled down if that general description was dropped and people were more specific about their origin - Indian, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese (all "Asian" but all very different cultures).	Tony (4941)
362516	2005-06-13 00:27:00	Yeah there are asians doing the odd ball stuff, of course . For OP, being asian and going to NZ school be it he was born here or if he is a intl student its outside of his comfort zone . You look out of place . You look different, if you were to take a non asian partner to the ball you stand out . While some go to balls, many asians are very serious when it comes to partners . ie . . if you don't plan to commit to the long term then don't go out, don't be friends too close or you may give the wrong signals . Face values comes into it also, when parents need to liase with the partner's parents . Its like a whole family of network relation than just between the two pple . More than not, the issues span out to grandparents, aunties and uncles . . when they pose the question, so what happen to that girl you took to the ball some yrs ago . . . how are you guys? Sure pple breakup but before they initialised to be together there must be a commitment from both parties . Its not about that you just take a girl to an event pay for her and call it a night to cover yourself for the event . You famly pressure ie . . now you in uni its educ . Then after you grad, its you are now aged XXyrs, most pple get married at this age . . blah blah . . . and you get pressured into marriage . Grandmother may say she wants grandchildren blah blah . . in a way you are alo pressured by your siblings and cousins in the stage they have reached . Some pple do it in NZ but its kinda stepping outside their cultural norms . ie . . just for sake of friends, you take someone and go to this event so pple at school are not gonna tease you about it . Few are friends, many are set up dates from the school organisers which you pay for her . Uni is different becos there are a lot more asians or intl students . A lot more single pple . Its an event paid already such as hostels and dinner is provided! Yeah they dress up, they got peer supporters, they mostly all are single . So its much easier . There may be a intl ball held, thats v similar too organised by the student assoc of uni's . This is v much just attendance dance in a group with others at the end, each one makes your own way home . Kind of like going to a disco or a karaoke bar . If it was just a farewell high school social dance it could of been easier . . but given the code of dress and structure of the event it has a seriousness to it . For some it can be an age factor too . Yeah you listen to your elders and respect them . I know pple who are in their 20s and they were not allowed to go to ski trip becos they told them so . Some pple went bungy and will never tell them they have done so . Some I know even fly over to NZ and stay with the student for a month while she/he is studying before they will leave the country . Hence you know that news makes headlines overseas about quality of educ in NZ and the social life etc . . its something they have a grudge against .	Nomad (952)
362517	2005-06-13 00:30:00	School balls mark a transistion into manhood? Can't say I ever viewed them as such....Perhaps its all the Jiggy afterwards that does the damage. Anyhow, If it is as you say then its got to be the weakest manhood rite in the entire world, I vote for a combination gleaned from around the world, all done on the same day 1. Circumcision (no anesetic,no tears permitted) 2. Bungy jumping using vines tied around the ankles (Face must make impact with hillside) 3. Kill a lion with a spear That should tell the men from the boys....	Metla (12)
362518	2005-06-13 00:39:00	School balls mark a transistion into manhood?I agree as rituals go it is pretty weak, but it is about the best we have... 2. Bungy jumping using vines tied around the ankles (Face must make impact with hillside) 3. Kill a lion with a spearThey are both likely to be more memorable, but on the whole I think I prefer a school ball. :o	Tony (4941)
362519	2005-06-13 00:54:00	P.S. I am Asian myself.	techie (7177)
362520	2005-06-13 00:57:00	P.S. I am Asian myself.Specifically????	personthingy (1670)
362521	2005-06-13 01:09:00	We used to have a female equivalent - not exactly a transition to womanhood, but supposed to be an entry into "society" i.e. eligibility for dating, even if that had actually already happened. It was the debutante ball - legacy of the Brit heritage, I guess.. And that was reaallly formal... full-length white gown & long white gloves. Your parents came & watched. Girls were usually 17/18 for that, and had left school. I was a deb... rather grudgingly, I admit, but I enjoyed the night at last. The tradition was fading even then. Lots of my friends opted out. I guess those balls vanished once it became obvious girls were "out in society" well before leaving school.	Laura (43)
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