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Thread ID: 60161	2005-07-24 19:50:00	Monday Laughs: Election Special, Politics 101	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
374920	2005-07-24 19:50:00	A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the head of the family, so call me The President . Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government . We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People . The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class . And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future . Now think about that and see if it makes sense . " So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said . Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him . He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy . So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep . Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room . Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed making love with the nanny . He gives up and goes back to bed . The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now . " The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about . " The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep . The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poo . " Cheers Billy 8-{) :p	Billy T (70)
374921	2005-07-24 22:21:00	The Browns were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family . On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr . Brown kissed his wife and said, "I'm off . The man should be here soon" . Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale . "Good morning madam . I've come to . . . . . " "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs . Brown cut in . "Come in . " "Really?" the photographer asked . "Well, good! My specialty is babies . " "That's what my husband and I had hoped . Please come in and have a seat . " After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" Photographer - "Leave everything to me . I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed . Sometimes the living room floor is fun too . . . . you can really spread out!" Wife - "Bathtub, couch, bed, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me . " Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time . But if we try sevral different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results . " Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . " Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time . I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that I'm sure . " Wife (muttering)- "Don't I know it . " The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures . "This was done on the top of a bus . " Wife - "Oh my god!!" Photographer - "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with . " Wife - "She was difficult?" Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so . I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right . People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look . " Wife - "Four and five deep?" (eyes widened in amazement) . Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours, too . The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots . Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in . " Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually chewed on your equipment?" Photographer - "That's right . Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work" Wife - "Tripod?? Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on . It's much too big for me to hold very long . Madam? . . . . . . Madam . . . . . ? Good Lord, she's fainted!!" :D	smithie 38 (6684)
374922	2005-07-25 21:01:00	LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER Memory was something you lost with age An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano A web was a spider's home A virus was the flu A CD was a bank account A hard drive was a long trip on the road A mouse pad was where a mouse lived And if you had a 3 inch floppy .. .. you just hoped nobody ever found out	Strommer (42)
374923	2005-07-25 22:48:00	This guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine . Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya . . . where ya from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Iowa . " The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?" The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist . " The bartender asks, "A taxidermist . . . now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?" The guy says "I mount animals . " The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"	Cicero (40)
374924	2005-07-28 06:09:00	LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER Memory was something you lost with age An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano A web was a spider's home A virus was the flu A CD was a bank account A hard drive was a long trip on the road A mouse pad was where a mouse lived And if you had a 3 inch floppy .. .. you just hoped nobody ever found out haha hehe, nice one :)	stu161204 (123)
374925	2005-07-28 06:54:00	A little girl went into a pet shop and asked "I want a rabbit, but I haven't very much money." The owner took pity on her, so he crouched down and said "I'm sure we can find something to suit - we have all sorts of rabbits - brown ones, white ones, ones with long ears, ones with short ears - what sort would you like?" The girl thought for a long time, and then said "I actually don't think the python is that choosy..."	Tony (4941)
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