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Thread ID: 142631	2016-08-08 02:51:00	Monday Laughs:...The Sex-Change, The 'Enlarger', Kate & Edith and more Blondes!.....	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1424191	2016-08-08 02:51:00	. . An older gentleman had an appointment to see his Urologist, who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients, and as he approached the desk, he noticed that the new Receptionist was a large unfriendly-looking woman who resembled a Sumo Wrestler. He gave her his name, then in a very loud voice, the receptionist said, 'YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?' All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX-CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS...' ********************************* Be careful what you purchase on-line......... My brother-in-law spent $50 on a 'gentleman's friend' enlarger. Bastards sent him a magnifying glass. Instructions said: "Don’t use in the sunlight!" ********************************* Bob was busy paddling his kayak, and as he went along he sees a girl on an ice floe. "Help! Help!" she cries........ So he paddles over and rescues her, puts her in his kayak, she introduces herself as Kate. Pleased with himself, he paddles on further until he sees yet another girl on an ice floe. Shocked, he pulls over and sure enough she needs rescuing. She cries "Oh sir, my name is Edith, please help me." So he helps her in, and of course the kayak sinks. Proving once and for all, you can't have your Kate and Edith too... ********************************* IN A VACUUM A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?' ********************************* FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO.......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs!' Cheers Billy 8-{) :D	Billy T (70)
1424192	2016-08-08 03:28:00	DARWIN POST (Last Tuesday), Woman saves herself in Crocodile attack using a small Walking Stick. This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a walking stick against a fierce predator. Here is her story in her own words: "While out walking along the edge of a creek just outside of our house in Darwin, with my soon to be ex-husband discussing our property settlement, Kids and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 5 metre. Crocodile which suddenly emerged from the murky water and began charging at us very fast with its large jaws wide open. The Croc must have been protecting her young and her home because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little $5. Dollar Reject shop walking stick with me, I would not be here today! Just one Hard Wack to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took....The' Croc got him easily and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was really incredible and I got the lot. ps:- I luv that Croc Ken :banana	kenj (9738)
1424193	2016-08-08 10:25:00	Grant Robertson called up Andrew Little one day and said, "Andy, I have a plan to win back working class New Zealand in 2017!" "We'll get some jeans and a hoddie, like most workers wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a dog. Then, we'll go to a bar in Auckland and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there." So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Otara. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar. The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you Robertson and Little?" "Yes we are!" said Grant, "And what a lovely bar you have here. We were passing through and Andy suggested we stop and take in some local colour." They ordered a round for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen. A few minutes later, a grizzled old Freezing worker came in, walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came an old wharfie. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar. For the next hour, another dozen workers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and left shaking their heads. Finally, Grant asked, "Why did all those old guys come in and look under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of custom?" "Lord no," said the bartender. "Someone's out there running around town, claiming there's a dog in here with two ars*holes!"	tutaenui (1724)
1424194	2016-08-10 01:36:00	The owner of a golf course in Port Douglas was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical assistance. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated at the James Cook University and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought for a moment and then replied, "Everything but my earrings"	kenj (9738)
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