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Thread ID: 61851	2005-09-18 22:41:00	Monday Laughs: One for the ladies........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
389220	2005-09-18 22:41:00	A woman gives birth to a baby, and a short while afterwards, the doctor comes to her room looking very serious and says, "I have to tell you something about your baby . " The woman sits bolt upright in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? Tell me what's wrong???" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your child is a little bit different, it is a hermaphrodite . " The woman says, "A hermaphrodite . . . what's that???" The doctor says, "Well, it means your baby has the . . . er . . . most important features . . . of both a male and a female . " The woman turns pale . She says, "Oh my God! You mean it has a penis AND a brain? Cheers Billy 8-{) :xmouth:	Billy T (70)
389221	2005-09-19 03:32:00	Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catechism class, usually dozing off periodically all through the hour. One day her teacher, a nun, called on her while she was napping. "Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?" When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny, her friend who was sitting behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret as she awoke with a start. The nun with a curious tone said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class. A little later the nun directed another question to the girl, "Mary Margaret, Who is our Lord and Savior?" But she didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, little Johnny came to the rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt. Mary sat up abruptly and shouted "Jesus Christ!" and the nun once again said, "Very good," and in a few minutes Mary Margaret went back to her napping only to be disturbed a third time by a timely jab when the teacher asked, "Who was Mary?". Looking a bit perturbed Mary Margaret made a face and erupted with "Mother of God!" Looking totally surprised, the teacher managed to stammer "Yes, Yes! Very Good!" and continued with the lesson and Mary Margaret continued with her interrupted slumber. Wrapping up the session, the nun posed a final question to the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" The room was silent and once more, Johnny took pin in hand and jabbed. This time Mary Margaret jumped up shaking her fist and shouted, "Enough is enough! If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!" The nun fainted :D	smithie 38 (6684)
389222	2005-09-19 03:36:00	Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on . The first surgeon says, I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered . The second responds, Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded . The third surgeon says, No, I really think librarians are the best; Everything inside is in alphabetical order . The fourth surgeon chimes in; You know, I like construction workers . Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would . But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed; You're all wrong Politicians are the easiest to operate on . There's no guts, no heart no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable .	beetle (243)
389223	2005-09-19 04:13:00	What should you do if you see a politician lying injured on the road? Run over them. What if they are still alive? Put the gearstick into reverse. :rolleyes:	bob_doe_nz (92)
389224	2005-09-19 06:01:00	A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made mad passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, not awakening until 8:00 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he asked his secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied, then he slipped them on and drove home. "Where have you been?!" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary, and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until 8:00 p.m." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "YOU LYING BASTARD, YOU'VE BEEN OUT PLAYING GOLF!"	Billy T (70)
389225	2005-09-19 08:47:00	hahahahahahahahahahaha 'at were good billy T	mark c (247)
389226	2005-09-19 22:44:00	Another for the ladies: Relatives were gathered in the waiting room of a hospital, where their family member lay gravely ill . Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre . "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said, as he surveyed the worried faces . "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant . It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope . The good news is that your insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves . " The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news . After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor responded promptly, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain," and the moment suddenly turned awkward . The men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked . A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask: "So why does the male brain cost so much more?" The doctor smiled at his child-like innocence and explained: "It's just standard pricing procedure . We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used . " Cheers Billy 8-{) :p	Billy T (70)
389227	2005-09-20 06:17:00	Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence . The Priest said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery . You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so" . Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years . You may speak two words . " Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed . " "I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "We will get you a better bed . " After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest . "You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine . "Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future . On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office . "You may say two words today . " "I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine . "It's probably best," said the Priest, "You've done nothing but ***** since you got here . "	Cicero (40)
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