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Thread ID: 62495	2005-10-09 21:26:00	Monday Laughs: Women Jokes.......Live dangerously, hell hath no fury. etc....	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
394743	2005-10-12 01:00:00	<snip>FOR HURRICANE SURVIVORS FROM FLORIDA TO TEXAS! YOU KNOW YOU LIVE ON THE GULF COAST WHEN.... </snip> Cheers Billy 8-{) <snip> :D LOL :lol: Good one Billy!	stu161204 (123)
394744	2005-10-12 05:18:00	Eight Words with two Meanings 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.......Um............ what can i say to that?	personthingy (1670)
394745	2005-10-12 05:46:00	Eight Words with two Meanings 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.......Um............ what can i say to that?Guilty ?? :D	Myth (110)
394746	2005-10-12 06:33:00	Guilty ?? :DOK.. so Thingy is either part of something to enhance an engine, or part of something to enhance........... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm........	personthingy (1670)
394747	2005-10-12 19:32:00	Engineers - Take One To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. But to the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Engineers - Take Two A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were playing golf together and found themselves waiting for a particularly slow group of golfers that were in front of them. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. 'Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?' " The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime they want." There was silence for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?" Engineers - Take Three What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets. Engineers - Take Four Three engineering students were discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. After all - just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it must have been an electrical engineer. Think about the nervous system, it has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?" Engineers - Take Five "Normal people...believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet." Engineers - Take Six An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." The architect and the artist replied in unison, "Both!?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, this way you can stay longer at work and get some really interesting stuff done." Engineers - Take Seven An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it into his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one whole week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a week and do absolutely ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket Finally, the frog asked, "WHAT is the matter with you? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week, and I will do anything you want. WHY won't you kiss me??" The engineer replies, "Look, I'm an engineer. I simply don't have time for a girl friend, but a talking frog. . now, that's really cool."	Cicero (40)
394748	2005-10-12 19:44:00	Oh so 001 apart from the fact he would never smoke . The Attorney THIS IS THE BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY . A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things . Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company . In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost in a series of small fires . The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion . The lawyer sued . . . and WON! (Stay with me . ) In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous . The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer "held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim . Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires" . NOW FOR THE BEST PART . . . After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine . This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest . ONLY IN AMERICA! NO WONDER THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES THINK WE'RE NUTS!	Cicero (40)
394749	2005-10-12 20:05:00	What scares me is seeing our own legal system going more and more that way..........	personthingy (1670)
394750	2005-10-13 00:03:00	The athiest An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air. The monster then opened its mouth while waiting below to swallow man and boat. As the man sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!" Suddenly, the scene froze in place. As the atheist hung in midair, a booming voice came out of the clouds and said, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!" "God, come on, give me a break!" the man pleaded, "Just seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!" "Well," said God, "now that you are a believer you must understand that I won't work miracles to snatch you from certain death in the jaws of the monster, but I can change hearts. What would you have me do?" The atheist thinks for a minute and then says, "God, please have the Loch Ness Monster believe in You also." God replies, "So be it." The scene starts in motion again with the atheist falling towards the ravenous jaws of the ferocious beast. Then the Loch Ness Monster folds his claws together and says, "Lord, bless this food You have so graciously provided....."	Morgenmuffel (187)
394751	2005-10-13 01:43:00	THIS IS THE BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY?????? NO WONDER THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES THINK WE'RE NUTS! Never picked you for a gullible sucker Ciccy (www.snopes.com) This one has singed whiskers on it Cheers Billy 8-{) :D	Billy T (70)
394752	2005-10-13 06:47:00	Never picked you for a gullible sucker Ciccy (www.snopes.com) This one has singed whiskers on it Cheers Billy 8-{) :D I quite liked it b4 I knew the truth,didnt you?	Cicero (40)
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