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Thread ID: 63369	2005-11-07 00:56:00	Monday laughs: Sticking with the religious theme.......	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
402430	2005-11-07 00:56:00	Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be passing the beer and liquor section . One asks her companion if she would like a beer . The other nun answered that would be good, but that she would be a bit uneasy about purchasing it . The first nun said that she would handle it and picked up a six pack and took it to the cashier . The cashier had a surprised look and the first nun said,"The beer is used for washing our hair . " The cashier, without blinking an eye, reached under the counter and put a package of pretzels in the bag with the beer, saying . . . "Here, don't forget your curlers . " Cheers Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
402431	2005-11-07 01:06:00	TIME OFF WORK Two factory workers were talking. "I think I'll take some time off from work." Said the man. "How do you think you'll do that?" asked the blonde. He proceeded to show her....by climbing up to the rafters, and hangingupside down. The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and askedhim what on earth he was doing. "I'm a light bulb" answered the guy. "I think you need some time off," said the boss. So, the man jumped down and walked out of the factory. The blonde began walking out too. The boss asked her...where did you think you are going? The blonde answered, "Home. I can't work in the dark".	Mr Wetzyl (362)
402432	2005-11-07 01:32:00	They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there & you say in front of others what's wrong & sometimes it's embarrassing . There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients . I know most of us have experienced this, & I love the way this old guy handled it: An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded Doctor's Waiting Room . As he approached the desk, the Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my dick," he replied . The Receptionist became irritated & said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded Doctor's Room & say things like that . " "Why not? You asked me what was wrong & I told you," he said . The Receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people . You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something & then discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private . " The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others, if the answer could embarrass anyone . " The man walked out, waited several minutes & th en re-entered . The Receptionist smiled smugly & asked, "Yes?" "There's something wrong with my ear," he stated . The Receptionist nodded approvingly & smiled, knowing he had taken her advice . "What's wrong with your ear, Sir?" "I can't pee out of it," the man replied . The Waiting Room erupted in laughter .	smithie 38 (6684)
402433	2005-11-07 02:46:00	TIME OFF WORK Two factory workers were talking. "I think I'll take some time off from work." Said the man. "How do you think you'll do that?" asked the blonde. He proceeded to show her....by climbing up to the rafters, and hangingupside down. The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and askedhim what on earth he was doing. "I'm a light bulb" answered the guy. "I think you need some time off," said the boss. So, the man jumped down and walked out of the factory. The blonde began walking out too. The boss asked her...where did you think you are going? The blonde answered, "Home. I can't work in the dark". LOL :D	stu161204 (123)
402434	2005-11-07 18:32:00	SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE! What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it . Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any . What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever . What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities . What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife . Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism . Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends . What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving . What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside . (gotta love it) What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you . Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? Everyone has the same DNA . Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes . Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar . Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong" . What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment . What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring . What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with . . . "a recipe" . How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time . . . " -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh * it . . . " . Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides	Cicero (40)
402435	2005-11-08 21:05:00	A "modern" Islamic couple in Saudi Arabia, preparing for a religious wedding meets with their Mullah for counseling. The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave. The man asks, "We realize it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together." "Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately." "So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?" "No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam." "Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?" "Of course!," replies the Mullah, "Allah ho Akbar! Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!" "What about different positions?" asks the man. "Allah ho Akbar! No problem," says the Mullah. "Woman on top?" the man asks. "Sure," says the Mullah. "Allah ho Akbar. Go for it!" "Doggy style?" "Sure! Allah ho Akbar!" "On the kitchen table?" "Yes, yes! Allah ho Akbar!" "Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?" "You may indeed. Allah ho Akbar!" "Can we do it standing up?" "No." says the Mullah. " "Why not?" asks the man. "Because that could lead to dancing."	olwyn (8088)
402436	2005-11-08 21:49:00	A man goes to the zoo. He was disappointed when he got there, there was only a dog. ... It was a s hitzu.	pixeldust (6619)
402437	2005-11-09 00:41:00	found these in my maths exersise book the overwelming majority of people have more than the average number of legs statistics is the only perfesion which demands the right to make mistakes 5 pe cent of the time we look forward to the day when the everyone will receive more than the average wage. austrlian minister of labour, 1973	sambaird (47)
402438	2005-11-09 19:25:00	Yoga, Irish style. Click here (i8.photobucket.com)	Strommer (42)
402439	2005-11-10 18:23:00	This is a real hoot - very clever! Dueling Banjos (Flash animation): www.topeuro.co.uk	Strommer (42)
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