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| Thread ID: 63941 | 2005-11-27 20:49:00 | Monday laughs: Godzone | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 408073 | 2005-11-27 20:49:00 | Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him on the seventh day, resting. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds "Look Michael, look what I've made." said God. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance". "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people." God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel Michael, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small land mass and said "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's New Zealand, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and hills. The people from New Zealand are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? you said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the a*seholes I'm putting next to them. I call them Australians!!!" Cheers Billy 8-{) ;) Go the Kiwis :thumbs: |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 408074 | 2005-11-27 21:16:00 | Don't mean to discourage you, Billy, but I think someone has posted that joke before in the previous week. Cheers :) |
Renmoo (66) | ||
| 408075 | 2005-11-27 21:31:00 | No sweat James, I guess I didn't check carefully enough. :blush: That would be the third time this has happened. :( Try this one instead: There were three old black ladies getting ready to take a plane across the ocean. The first lady said, "I don't know bout y'all, but I'm gunna wear me some hot pink panties be-fo I gets on dat plane." "Why you gonna wear dem fo?" the other two asked. The first replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I's out dare laying butt-up in a conefield, well dey gonna find me first." The second lady said, "Well, I'm a-gonna wear me some 'o dem floooresant orange panties." "Why you gonna wear dem?" the others asked. The second lady answered, "Cause if dis hareplane is goin' down and I's a-floating butt-up in de oshun, den dey will see me first." The third old lady says, "Well, I's not gonna wear any panties....." "What? Yo not gonna wear no panties at all?" the others asked in disbelief. "Dat's right, you heard me. I's not wearing no panties," the third lady said, cause if dis plane goes down honey, de fust thing dey allus looks for is de black box." Cheers Billy 8-{) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 408076 | 2005-11-27 23:39:00 | A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work . Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch . The woman's husband also comes home . She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there already . The little boy says, "Dark in here . " The man says, "Yes, it is . " Boy - "I have a football . " Man - "That's nice . " Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks . " Boy - "My dad's outside . " Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "£250" In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together . Boy - "Dark in here . " Man - "Yes, it is . " Boy - "I have football boots . " The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?" Boy - "£750" Man - "Sold . " A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of football . The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and boots . " The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" Boy -"£1,000 . " The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that . . that is way more than those two things cost . I'm going to take you to church and make you confess . " They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door . The boy says, "Dark in here . " The priest says, "Don't start that again, you're in my cupboard now" |
smithie 38 (6684) | ||
| 408077 | 2005-11-28 07:21:00 | Put a smile on my face that did - thanks smithie 38 :thumbs: | Dannz (1668) | ||
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