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Thread ID: 64133	2005-12-04 19:57:00	Monday laughs: Caring, sharing & togetherness	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
410236	2005-12-04 19:57:00	An elderly gentleman walked up to the counter of a fast food restaurant and ordered a plain hamburger, small fries and a small drink. He then took the tray back to the table where his wife was sitting and proceeded to cut the hamburger exactly in half. He then counted out the fries and gave half to his wife. The drink was also divided in the same way. A young man sitting at a nearby table decided to speak up, "Excuse me sir," he said. "I noticed you dividing your food. That's not much of a meal for one person. If it's a matter of money, maybe I can help." "No, thank you," the husband man replied. "It's not about money. For 53 years we've always shared everything we have 50-50, right down the middle." "But I notice your wife isn't eating," the young man said, "Is she all right?" "Oh yes," the husband said. "But it's my turn to use the teeth first." Cheers Billy 8-{) :eek:	Billy T (70)
410237	2005-12-04 20:14:00	Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates. The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied............. "They're Carols.	smithie 38 (6684)
410238	2005-12-05 02:34:00	Funny Unix csh/sh commands: =========================== % cat "food in cans" cat: can't open food in cans % rm God rm: God nonexistent % ar t God ar: God does not exist % ar r God ar: creating God % "How would you rate Quayle's incompetence? Unmatched ". % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa? Missing ]. % ^How did the sex change operation go? ^ Modifier failed. % If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have? Too many ('s. % make love Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop. % sleep with me bad character % got a light? No match. % man: why did you get a divorce? man:: Too many arguments. % !:say, what is saccharine? Bad substitute. /* not csh but sh */ $ PATH=pretending!/usr/ucb/which sense no sense in pretending! $ drink bottle: cannot open opener: not found	Dannz (1668)
410239	2005-12-05 02:45:00	LOL @ Billy T joke	stu161204 (123)
410240	2005-12-05 03:32:00	Pedro was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday, for the rest of my life, plus promise to give up womenizing and drinking tequila." Miraculously, a parking place instantly appeared. Pedro looked up again and said,..."Never mind. I found one!" :D	smithie 38 (6684)
410241	2005-12-06 05:15:00	A young couple accidently drove a golf ball through the window of a nearby home, and rushing up to see if there was any damage, they are met by a handsome man wearing a turban. "We are so sorry!" the husband offers. "We'll pay for the damage!" "Not at all", replies the man. "I'm a genie and I was trapped for 1,600 years until your ball broke the bottle that was my prison. Allow me to grant you anything whatever you wish." "Could you make us millionaires?" asks the wife. "Better than that, I've set a standing order to post $100,000 dollars into your account every month for the rest of your life," he says. "Oh, how can we ever thank you?" "Well..." he slowly replies, "I've forgotten the feel of holding a woman and making love to one, could your wife offer me this one chance in so many years?" After a short conference, the couple decide that since they are now so rich, this is but a very small price to pay, and agree. Later the next morning when the woman awakens after a night of exotic thrills, the genie asks her how old she is. "Twenty-nine", she answers. "I see," he muses. "And you STILL believe in genies?"	SurferJoe46 (51)
410242	2005-12-06 06:45:00	Spotted on a T shirt today; Binary People There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't...	Eric (378)
410243	2005-12-06 19:28:00	A young boy, about 12, answered a knock at the door. "Is yer paw home?" a farmer asked. "No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He went into town." "Well," said the farmer, "is yer maw here?" "No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with pa." "How about your brother, Howard. Is he here?" "He went with ma and pa." The farmer stood there for a minute, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself. "Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer pa." "Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer paw. It's about your brother, Howard, getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant." The boy considered this for a moment. "You would have to talk to pa about that", he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard."	smithie 38 (6684)
410244	2005-12-10 17:20:00	I got this from a TechRepublic Email Member geekchic had another tech support nightmare come true: "We were going to give [a user] a new nifty 19-inch flat screen....Well, she immediately freaked out and got very upset....She finally blurted out in a shaky voice, 'You can't take that monitor, all of my data is in there.'"	Eric Richards (6226)
410245	2005-12-10 21:56:00	That is what apple teaches you...	Greven (91)
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