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Thread ID: 64535	2005-12-18 20:05:00	Monday laughs: Festive Season	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
413725	2005-12-18 20:05:00	An elderly couple was sitting together, watching their favorite Saturday night TV program. During one of the many commercial breaks, the husband suddenly turned to his wife and asked: "Whatever happened to our sexual relations?" After a long thoughtful silence, the wife, during the next commercial break, replied: "You know, I don't really know--I don't even think we got a Christmas card from them this year." Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
413726	2005-12-18 22:22:00	Libra Fleur have released a xmas tampon range this year for the 1st time. The string has been replaced with tinsel and these will only be available for the christmas period.	EX-WESTY (221)
413727	2005-12-18 22:46:00	Maxims for the Internet Age Home is where you hang your @ In Gates we trust. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. Virtual reality is its own reward. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click .Modulation in all things. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks. A user and his leisure time are soon parted. Great groups from little icons grow. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won’t bother you for weeks. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone. There’s no place like www.home.com (http:) C:\ is the root of all directories. Know what to expect before you connect. Don’t put all your hypes in one home page. Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice. Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish. Speed thrills. The modem is the message. Too many clicks spoil the browse. The geek shall inherit the earth. A chat has nine lives. Don’t byte off more than you can view. Fax is stranger than fiction. What boots up must come down. Craig Matthews Windows will never cease.Editor	johnboy (217)
413728	2005-12-19 01:50:00	To the *nix user, there is no place like /home :D	personthingy (1670)
413729	2005-12-19 02:01:00	To the *nix user, there is no place like /home :DFor the cross platform users there is no place like 127.0.0.1 Same joke V6: there is no place like 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 -Qyiet	qyiet (6730)
413730	2005-12-19 02:29:00	To one and all of my E-mail friends: As the holidays approach, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes because I now have to go get a wet sponge every time I need to seal an envelope. Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time) I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email tracking program, and the 3 million euros from the lottery that I don't remember entering. Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour! If you don't e-mail this to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next-door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's fitness trainer.... Cheers Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
413731	2005-12-19 19:29:00	An elderly couple was sitting together, watching their favorite Saturday night TV program. During one of the many commercial breaks, the husband suddenly turned to his wife and asked: "Whatever happened to our sexual relations?" After a long thoughtful silence, the wife, during the next commercial break, replied: "You know, I don't really know--I don't even think we got a Christmas card from them this year."	smithie 38 (6684)
413732	2005-12-19 20:00:00	Wow. There's an echo in this forum...	Lizard (2409)
413733	2005-12-19 22:07:00	Wow. There's an echo in this forum...	bob_doe_nz (92)
413734	2005-12-19 23:43:00	Well bugger me - I really goofed on that didnt I as he slinks away to lick his wounds. Blame it on the festive season. :blush:	smithie 38 (6684)
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