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Thread ID: 142797	2016-09-12 02:09:00	Monday Laughs:...The little black dress, the Assassin, Bra-Ha, and another Frog...	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1425952	2016-09-12 02:09:00	. . A blonde drops off her little black dress at the Dry Cleaners for yet another stain removal. When she returns to pick it up and as she is leaving, the Lady at the counter says 'come again'. The blonde says: "No, it was toothpaste this time you nosy cow!" ********************************* The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair ..... Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes, then the man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried', he said, 'but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes! Get your wife and go home.' Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, splattered with blood and wiping the sweat from her brow. 'The damned gun was loaded with blanks' she said. 'So I had to beat him to death with the chair.' MORAL: Women are crazy. Don't mess with them!!!! ********************************* A Chinese guy goes to a Jewish merchant to buy black bras, size 38. The merchant, known for his skills as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding it very difficult to buy them from his suppliers, therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them. The Chinese guy buys 25 bras. He returns a few days later and this time orders fifty. The merchant tells him that they have become even harder to get and charges him $60.00 each. The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the merchant's remaining stock of 50, and this time for $75.00 each. The Jewish merchant is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black size 38 bras and asks the Chinese guy, ".....please tell me - What do you do with all these black bras?" The Chinese guy answers: "I cut them in half and sell them as skull caps to you guys for $250 each." ......and this is why the Chinese own us! "Business is Business" ********************************* A man is 84 years old and he loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' He looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, 'Pick me up.' He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, 'Are you talking to me?' The frog said, ' Yes, I'm talking to you.' 'Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you've ever seen. 'I'll make sure all your friends will be envious and jealous because I will be your bride!' The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket. The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?' 'I said, kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.' The man opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, 'Nah, at my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.' Once you get to a certain age, the wisdom to make the right choice is automatic. Cheers Billy 8-{) :clap	Billy T (70)
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