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Thread ID: 65658	2006-01-26 04:03:00	In defence of the average Dog	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
424327	2006-01-26 04:03:00	The average dog is a nicer person than the average person . -Andy Rooney The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue . -Anonymous Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful . -Ann Landers If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went . -Will Rogers There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face . -Ben Williams A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself . -Josh Billings We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare . And in return, dogs give us their all . It's the best deal man has ever made . -M . Acklam Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate . -Sigmund Freud I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult . -Rita Rudner A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down . Robert Benchley Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog . -Franklin P . Jones If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons . -James Thurber If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise . -Unknown My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3 . 00 a can . That's almost $21 . 00 in dog money . -Joe Weinstein Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow . They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -Anne Tyler Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea . -Robert A . Heinlein If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man . -Mark Twain You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' - Dave Barry Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole . -Roger Caras If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them . -Phil Pastoret And the last word: GOD CREATES DOG FOR ADAM & EVE It is reported that the following addition to the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Sea Scrolls . If authentic, it would shed light on the question, "Where do pets come from?" And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day . Now I do not see you anymore . I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me . " And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me . Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself . " And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam . And it was a good animal . And God was pleased . And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam, and he wagged his tail . And Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom, and all the good names are taken, and I cannot think of a name for this new animal . " And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG . " And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and to Eve, and loved them . And Adam was comforted . And God was pleased . And Dog was content and wagged his tail . After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride . He struts and preens like a peacock and believes he is worthy of adoration . Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility . " And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is . The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know he is not worthy of adoration . " And God created CAT to be a companion for Adam . And Cat would not obey Adam . And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the Supreme Being . And Adam learned humility . And God was pleased . And Adam was greatly improved . And Cat did not give a toss, one way or the other . Cheers Billy 8-{) :D	Billy T (70)
424328	2006-01-26 05:04:00	THE LEGEND OF THE RAINBOW BRIDGE Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigour; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His or her bright eyes are intent; the eager body quivers. Suddenly he or she begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, legs going faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart. Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together. (apologies if there is any copyright) A dog will do anything for food :) www.imagef1.net.nz	Terry Porritt (14)
424329	2006-01-26 05:11:00	Why Dogs don't live as long as people . I think this says it all . Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year- old Irish Wolfhound named Belker . The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker and they were hoping for a miracle . I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer . I told the family there were no miracles left for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home . As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for the four-year-old Shane to observe the procedure . They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience . The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him . Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on . Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away . The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion . We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives . Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why . " Startled, we all turned to him . What came out of his mouth next stunned me . I'd never heard a more comforting explanation . He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The four-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long . "	Cicero (40)
424330	2006-01-27 05:17:00	Not quite dogs,but worth a read . Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer . In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand . He approached her and asked, "Mrs . Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr . Williams I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me . You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs . You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher . Yes, I know you . " The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs . Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do . I've known Mr . Bradley since he was a youngster, too . He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem . He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state . Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women . One of them was your wife . Yes, I know him . " The defense attorney almost died . The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you b a s t a r d s asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt . " -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------	Cicero (40)
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