Forum Home
PC World Chat
Thread ID: 65565	2006-01-22 22:03:00	Monday laughs: Old age	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
423348	2006-01-22 22:03:00	An elderly couple decides to get some icecream. The old man opts to go alone and asks his wife what she wants. "I want a banana split," she says. "Are you going to remember this, or should I write it down?" "No, no, I’m sure I can remember," the old man replies. "Okay," says his wife, "I also want chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry with whipped cream and sprinkles. You sure you’re going to remember all this? "Yeah yeah, I’m not that old," exclaims the increasingly agitated husband. "And don’t forget the cherry on top," says the wife. The old man leaves for the ice cream and returns three hours later with a bag of bagels. His wife, looking confused, surveys the order and exclaims, "so where the hell is my cream cheese?" Cheers Billy 8-{) (Thanks to Foxy/Susan for standing in while I was away)	Billy T (70)
423349	2006-01-22 22:24:00	Pedro and Maria Pedro and Maria got married. Pedro was a "man about town" so to speak, but Maria was very naive and uninformed about the birds and the bees. Pedro was a poor working man and could not afford to take time off for a honeymoon. So, that night they retired to his little shack. When Pedro was undressing Maria said, "Oh Pedro, what is that?" Pedro being very quick thinking said, "Maria, I am the only man in the world with one of these." And, then, he proceeded to show her what it was for, and Maria was happy. The next morning Pedro went off to work as usual. When he returned home that evening, Maria was on the front porch obviously upset about something. "Pedro, you told me that you were the only man in the world with one of those, and I saw Gonzalez the gardener changing his clothes behind the shed, and he had one, too." Thinking fast, Pedro said, "Oh, Maria, Gonzalez is my very best friend. I had two of them so I gave him one. He is the only other man in the world with one of those." Maria being very stupid accepted his answer and they did their thing again that night. Pedro went off to work, again, the next morning; and, when he returned home, Maria was very upset, . stamping her foot on the porch. Pedro said, "Maria, what is the matter now?" "Pedro, you gave Gonzalez the best one!!"	smithie 38 (6684)
423350	2006-01-24 07:01:00	Definition of ugly.......... An extraordinarily ugly woman walked into a shop with her two children. The shopkeeper asked her "Are they twins?" The woman answered "No, he's nine and she's seven. Why do you ask, do you think they look alike?" "No" he replied, "I just can't believe you actually managed to get laid twice!" Cheers Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
423351	2006-01-24 08:15:00	FOREGONE CONCLUSION: (A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. (B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. (C) The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. (D) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. (E) Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.	Eric (378)
423352	2006-01-26 03:28:00	The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills. "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills? "Yes, they help me sleep at night." "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!" She reached out and patted the young Doctor's knee. "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks...... And believe me, it helps me sleep at night." You gotta like Grandmas. :D	FoxyMX (5)
423353	2006-01-26 03:33:00	A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the Cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time." Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." Cabbie: "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano." Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special" Cabbie: "There's more"......."He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out." Passenger. "Wow, some bloke then" Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them." Passenger. "Mmm, there's not many like him around." Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too." Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?" Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank." Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?" Cabbie: "I married his bloody widow."	FoxyMX (5)
423354	2006-01-26 04:47:00	You know you're getting old when you bend down to tie up your shoelaces and you think' " What else can I do while I'm down here?"	mark c (247)
1