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Thread ID: 67026	2006-03-14 17:08:00	phone text bullying......	drcspy (146)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
438137	2006-03-17 09:55:00	Yes I know who Dr Spock is but no-one talks about his theories today. Spock posited free form unstructured childrearing with the idea that children should be allowed to be themselves. No boundaries. We got a whole generation of brats as a result. Now those brats are having children themselves which has come as a bit of a shock. However they are imposing boundaries, discipline and limits on child behaviour. The difference is parents today try not to criticise the child but rather the behaviour. And they try (hopefully) not to hit their children. There are no perfect answers. All I can say is that I try using these ideas and they seem to work. Billy's post sets it out very well. Ultimately it seems to me that if you love your children then hitting them is a poor way of showing it. To be fair, generations of humans have survived and thrived despite cruel parenting. Not everyone is scarred for life. It is the shy scared vulnerable kids we need to really look out for. Whilst I agree partly with your views I tend to be a little cynical as it were. Your method of parenting may well work. I hope it does. Learning respect for elders, parents, police, laws and property may help. I was hit as a child but Dad did say that "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." I learnt respect!!!!!	Sweep (90)
438138	2006-03-17 10:35:00	I was hit as a child but Dad did say that "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." I learnt respect!!!!! Sweep, I think you've hit the nail on the head - respect. Teach our children to respect mum and dad, other people, and each other, and they should turn out fine.	Winston001 (3612)
438139	2006-03-17 23:41:00	I don't agree with you there, I am 17 and at school, I have a cellphone, BUT I only use it to sent messages to people, saying if I am late or other things to that effect, I don't get any bullying from it because I don't give out my number. :lol: Have you thought about the consequences with that JJJJJ? I recently got my own cellphone (about a week and 2 hours ago) and i think that they are great provided that you have some brains and use them sensibly. Now that i am at college that is approxamatly 45 minuites travel from home each day (by bus) it is usefull to be able to contact my parents to say if i have sport training and stuff. Also they are a good way of keeping in touch with my friends who live in tauranga. Who i rarley see. As for the issue of using them whist in class, our school gives out detentions and confiscates the phone if it is even turned on during class, assembellies and sports practices (for whatever reason).	techiekid (7219)
438140	2006-03-18 05:11:00	I never had to teach sleeping at night . Your milage may vary of course . Could it be that 39 years ago Mrs Sweep was the one who got up in the night to baby while Mr Sweep snored peacefully on? ;) When we had our children 16 years or so ago, Mrs T would get up and feed, then go back to bed while I settled baby down and put him/her back to bed . When weaning babies from night feeding there is training to do, for both mother and baby in our case . I had to sit on Mrs T for the first two nights to stop her getting up every time the baby cried, but after that it was "sleep through the night every night" . I don't accept the premise that you can only communicate with babies (or children) through language . Cheers Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
438141	2006-03-19 22:42:00	Why in your opinion does the written word have more power here? Does that fact that it is written make it true? I have seen newspaper reports that totally distort the truth . I know as I was there at several events when items were published after the events . This is a good question and while I feel Laura would give a better explanation, I'll give it a try . Oral (spoken) words are ephemeral - they exist for a moment and then are gone . They do have power because if especially significant can be recalled by the listener decades later . But spoken words can only be remembered . When repeated, human memory can be faulty and the words change . Think of the Chinese Whispers game . Written words are much more powerful . They don't fade away, they can be repeated, and they can be broadcast to a large number of readers . People don't have to be within earshot to read them . They also last longer and much more accurately . Your example of news reports is well made . For some reason, we are more inclined to believe something when it is written down . It might be quite wrong but if it is in black and white, then it has credibility . Text bullying satisfies all these criteria - easily passed around, accurately repeated, and with the impact of the written word . It is a vast technological leap from the nasty note passed around classrooms in days gone by .	Winston001 (3612)
438142	2006-03-19 23:45:00	Hmm, interesting convo. I especially am interested in the thoughts of Billy and Winston and the parenting knowledge they seem to have acquired. I would like to ask a few things: You say to teach your child respect.. how does a parent teach respect? I know that growing up, I respected my parents, but that was respect based on fear of my father. Now I have a nearly 2 year old kid, I want her to learn respect as well, but not the same way I did. You mentioned you had read some books on parenting, what were those books? (well some of them). Oddly enough I was lying awake last nite rethinking some things concerning my daughters upbringing and hadnt actually read this thread since the first day it was started	Myth (110)
438143	2006-03-20 00:14:00	Eeeuuurrrkkk . Good question Tazz and I'm no expert . My wife and I went to Parent Centre seminars which are organised in most towns from time to time . We also went to Parenting With Confidence courses run by Ian Grant which had a lot of commonsense . Apart from that, we read Baby and Child which is a bible for new parents . amazon . com/gp/product/0375700005/qid=1142809436/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-6171693-1115258?s=books&v=glance&n=283155" target="_blank">www . amazon . com Toddler Taming by Dr Christopher Green is brilliant too . amazon . com/gp/product/0449901556/qid=1142809543/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-6171693-1115258?s=books&v=glance&n=283155" target="_blank">www . amazon . com Perhaps respecting the child as a person rather than something to be seen and not heard helps . It sounds trite but at the most basic level, loving your child and remembering the love at frustrating moments helps the most . I recall one late night with a crying infant when I felt like throwing her out the window . Suddenly I realised that she wasn't doing it to wind me up, and all of the frustration just evaporated . I hugged her, spoke gently, and smiled . She soon settled down Now that she is 12 and a proto-teenager I'd do well to remind myself of this advice . :badpc:	Winston001 (3612)
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