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Thread ID: 67026	2006-03-14 17:08:00	phone text bullying......	drcspy (146)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
438097	2006-03-15 08:45:00	well the main reason i have my cell phone(im 16) is for work, often getting called by work =/ lol but the texting is jsut a bonus	Codex (3761)
438098	2006-03-15 09:21:00	No-one here seems to realise that in nearly every school cellphones are banned, at least during classtime. Yeah, and all kids do their homework, none of them smoke or swear, and they obey all school rules. And my grandfather was Mother Teresa. Banned or not, the phones are there at school and kids can text during classes without too much difficulty. Some can text without even looking (good god, that's touch-texting) so they will be in use regardless of rules. Until we get cellular transmission detectors in every room, or better still, cellular transmission blockers, the problem will remain. Goes back to parental control again, but most parent abdicated those responsibilities the minute their kids hit their teens, if not earlier, because they were not prepared to do the hard yards. Cheers Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
438099	2006-03-15 10:14:00	I agree with Winston that the written word has more power than speech when it comes to bullying - and that girls are especially good with words when bullying. It's an attribute of my sex that I'm not proud of. Even quite young girls form gangs (though not named as such) and can make life miserable for one they decide is an outsider - often for minor reasons. That may be temporary, as allegiances come and go. When it's not, the result can be lengthy hell for an isolated kid. Which brings me to an issue that hasn't come up so far in this thread. Children who are being bullied often don't confide in their parents. So it's not just a case of adults deciding how to cope with the situation by dealing with cellphones, rather one of doing detective work first when a kid is obviously miserable & unhappy. Extracting the reason may take time - let alone attempting a solution. Parenting was never simple. Today's technology hasn't made it any easier, when human nature hasn't changed.	Laura (43)
438100	2006-03-15 10:51:00	I agree with Winston and Laura . Girls can be particularly nasty with words . Those at college/high school are old enough to know exactly what they are doing and should be made to face up to their actions . To make other excuses only adds to the problem for an already troubled child . Kids will be kids, teasing and name calling have gone on since the beginning of time, but they need to know there are boundaries . Even the toughest of us can be worn down by constant harrassment . Hopefully, they will at least reflect on their actions, as should their parents . Marnie	Marnie (4574)
438101	2006-03-15 11:13:00	You can't just base her committing suicide because of the text messages, I think you're looking at the cellphone as a sidetrack from the real issue, and that is bullying . Instead of blaming and banning, how about resolving the problem . How are schools preventing bullying, if bullying is happening, are they telling the parents (the parents of the bullies and the victum's parents) or are they keeping it closed, because things like this if known can affect their school, it should be a known fact that this does happen in most schools . Do the teachers actually know that it's happening? I know that those who are being bullied, do not usually approach anyone to get their problem solved, they live with it and continue to let it build up, although I feel that they probably understand the limited abilities of what that person they approached could do to help, in fact, I think even if being known, whatever they do could not stop it from happening . Even I still have no idea what people can do to prevent bullying, they all say go and talk to them, but why not explain what steps they'd take to prevent it and show how it actually prevents it . Telling their parents definitely is not enough . So how can they prevent bullying? Cheers, KK	Kame (312)
438102	2006-03-15 12:01:00	I concur. However this is just another scapegoat really. Chances are there's already a nmber of kids who've done themselves in over text bullying - just this one made the news. Give it a few weeks, it'll die down and disappear. Just like instant message bullying, and livejournal bullying and old fashioned picking on kids on the bus/at lunchtime bullying. It won't go anywhere, and it'll still be around, just more accepted. My solution for bullys was to find the ringleader who was egging the others on and hit them rather hard after School. This worked for me about 50 years ago. You get the ringleader when he has not got his mates with him. This would be an intimadating GANG. I only had to do this twice and the bullys stopped. I have no idea what I would do if it happend to me now in todays politically correct environment. I also have no idea why you would accept that a bully and note that it will be usually more than one is acceptable because it has been going on for some time. Just because bullys are out there does this make it acceptable? Agreed that Bullys will be around everywhere unless the people will do something about it. It is alo possible that the twelve year old had other reasons to suicide and the Coroner has not yet reported. Subjudice so far as I see it so far.	Sweep (90)
438103	2006-03-15 12:11:00	Parenting was never simple. Today's technology hasn't made it any easier, when human nature hasn't changed. You have a good point there Laura. If you need a licence to get a dog then it might be worthwile to get a Parenting Licence. Personally I can not see that one happening. A fair number of parents do not have a clue where their children are right now at 1:07 on Wednesday night. Some parents do not even know how it happend they have a child.	Sweep (90)
438104	2006-03-15 12:32:00	Goes back to parental control again, but most parent abdicated those responsibilities the minute their kids hit their teens, if not earlier, because they were not prepared to do the hard yards. Cheers Billy 8-{) While you do have a point I would suggest that we have people around that do not even have children and think they know what is correct. We get so called anti-smacking rules and whilst I abhor child abuse I have the idea that a quick smack on the posterior will help from time to time. My Parents did the hard yards. They are no longer with me and I had what would today be called "abuse." Never did I have to go to Hospital because of this. Had the six of the best at school as well a few times. In those days it was acceptable as well. How would you suggest as a Parent I would instill good moral values in my child today? Bear in mind that I am working about 10-12 hours per day and six days per week. Think about a few Government Act that have bee passed over time. Hypothetical question this one as my children no longer need any discipline.	Sweep (90)
438105	2006-03-15 21:15:00	Why is it necessary for anyone to send stupid text messages in the first place? My solution . Make it illegal for anyone under 30 to even use a cell phone,let alone own one . I gave my 14 year old son my old cellphone . We exchange txts . Its very handy given that i'm not always at home, and neither is he . Often the only way for a visitor to get into my fortress is to send a txt, or ring my cellphone . I can't allways be bothered answering the door, as that means turning on the TV that monitors the doorcam, and seeing the only unexpected guests are likely to be Johos or something, why bother? Like it or not, communication has become very technologically reliant, unless 2 people happen to be in the same room . Cellphones are now well and truly part of life, and they aren't going away in a hurry . Also, some of us get our calls to work via txt . My work uses the vodafone web2txt interface to see who is available for each show . If you don't reply, your on the crew . Switching your fone off, or losing it is no excuse for not turning up! As for txt bullying . . . well part of life unfortunately is that there will be people who don't like others . If one dares to have ones own thoughts or is sensitive, one is more likely to be targeted . The fact that abuse is coming through new channels is irrelevant . Part of growing up is learning to except that not everyone will like us, and that some people will make a point of letting you know they don't . That now mean we must learn to deal with abuse via a new medium, txt	personthingy (1670)
438106	2006-03-16 00:21:00	How would you suggest as a Parent I would instill good moral values in my child today? Bear in mind that I am working about 10-12 hours per day and six days per week . Think about a few Government Act that have been passed over time . Hypothetical or not, it is a good question and is worth an answer, even if it is only our personal experiences and parenting views . I have felt the impact of government Acts as well, one particular Act effectively put me out of my job (when our children were still infants) by making my employer's business unprofitable and causing its closure, so I had to find a new career and income source . We have two children, one in year 11 at College and one in their first year at University . From the beginning they were taught the values of honesty, good manners, ethics, and above all, taking responsibility for their actions and the inevitability of consequences . Neither has been a perfect angel, but appropriate consequences followed every transgression that breached the common principles I mentioned above . Physical punishment was never necessary, a simple discussion on what they did wrong was sufficient, followed by temporary withdrawal of some valued privilege if it was a major issue . If tough love starts when children are infants, then it never needs to get tough, it just becomes embracing love that they will remember all their lives and pass on to their own children . Television was for holidays and weekends, with exceptions for schoolwork-related viewing . Laugh all you like, but they understood and accepted the constraint without any problems at all, they never knew anything different at home though they were well aware of what their peers were doing . There were occasional challenges but nothing dramatic . Homework came before leisure activities and proper mealtimes at a table were compulsory . Healthy food is a must, and water instead of soft-drinks kept sugar-fueled hyperactivity at bay . It has also meant that neither has required any dental treatment at all, just the annual free checks paid for by the Government . I was away from home regularly during their early years but my wife maintained the same routine whether I was there or not . I work long hours (6-7 days per week) and my wife has worked when she could during schooltime . Money has always been very tight and at times we were unable to provide much beyond the necessities . The sole luxury was music lessons and musical instruments, and we started both children at an early age . They have grown up to be very proficient musicians, each able to play piano as well as their main instrument and both earn money by either performing or teaching, one in jazz and the other classical . They have got into scrapes, made mistakes, had failures and risen above them . We let them be human and were not afraid to acknowledge our own flaws and frailties because if we didn't they sure would have pointed out the inconsistency! We also instilled a sense of community service through my wife taking them out with her while collecting for charities like Red Cross, Plunket and the Cancer Society, and my serving on various organisations . Now they help by going out to collect themselves . We ended up with two healthy, normal, well adjusted kids who challenge authority, test limits, point out inconsistent behaviour from their parents, argue cogently for their rights, and are successful at their studies within the limits of their individual abilities . You have to start at the beginning of their lives, it is too late once they get beyond primary school because it is difficult to dedicate enough time to effect the changes . We will never be rich, but I would like to think that we have added two reasonably good citizens to our society . Cheers Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
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