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| Thread ID: 67174 | 2006-03-19 18:39:00 | Monday laughs: The perils of speed | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 439251 | 2006-03-19 18:39:00 | THE FERRARI AND THE MOPED A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a brand new Ferrari GTO. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. An old man on a moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?" The young man replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!" "That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?" "Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the young dude proudly. The moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?" "No problem," replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right... but I'll stick with my moped!" Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 160 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer. He slows down to see what it could be, and suddenly, WHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH! Something whips by him, going much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the young man asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the moped! Amazed that the moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 275 mph. WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH! He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him again. Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph. Not 10 seconds later, he sees the moped bearing down on him again. The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do. Suddenly, the moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end. The young man stops and jumps out, and unbelievably, the old man is still alive. He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh my God! Is there anything I can do for you?" The old man whispers with his dying breath, "Unhook ... my ...suspenders... from ... your ... side-view mirror." Cheers Billy 8-{) :) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 439252 | 2006-03-19 19:11:00 | I need something to laugh at this morning. Good one Billy. | JJJJJ (528) | ||
| 439253 | 2006-03-19 20:41:00 | LOL :lol: that is funny, it has you thinking what the hell is this old guy doing on a moped at 320MPH...Yeah *goes and tells friends:D* | The_End_Of_Reality (334) | ||
| 439254 | 2006-03-20 00:39:00 | beep beep (www.yellow-springs.k12.oh.us) | Terry Porritt (14) | ||
| 439255 | 2006-03-20 04:16:00 | THE FERRARI AND THE MOPED A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a brand new Ferrari GTO . He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light . An old man on a moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him . The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?" The young man replies, "A Ferrari GTO . It cost half a million dollars!" "That's a lot of money," says the old man . "Why does it cost so much?" "Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the young dude proudly . The moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?" "No problem," replies the owner . So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around . Then, sitting back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right . . . but I'll stick with my moped!" Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man just what his car can do . He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 160 mph . Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror . It seems to be getting closer . He slows down to see what it could be, and suddenly, WHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH! Something whips by him, going much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the young man asks himself . He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph . Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the moped! Amazed that the moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 275 mph . WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH! He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him again . Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph . Not 10 seconds later, he sees the moped bearing down on him again . The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do . Suddenly, the moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end . The young man stops and jumps out, and unbelievably, the old man is still alive . He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh my God! Is there anything I can do for you?" The old man whispers with his dying breath, "Unhook . . . my . . . suspenders . . . from . . . your . . . side-view mirror . " Cheers Billy 8-{) :) I have had the good fortune to see girls in suspenders,but men . . . . . . And yes I know its a yankism . |
Cicero (40) | ||
| 439256 | 2006-03-20 21:07:00 | A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife . Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife . After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact, "Mary . . Mary " "Is that you, Fred?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed . " "What's it like?" ; "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex . I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex . I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice . I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon . After supper, golf course again . Then have sex until late at night . The next day it starts again . " "Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven . " "Not exactly, I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona . " |
Cicero (40) | ||
| 439257 | 2006-03-20 21:50:00 | My brother-in-law Jack is a motorcycle cop in Los Angeles, and one day he was patrolling on Sunset Boulevard where it becomes more urban . This day he spotted a fellow jogging on the street at about 20 miles per hour, and decided to pull him over and tell him that he was running on a highway not designed for pedestrian traffic when the guy heard the siren and took off, getting up to 50 miles per hour . After my brother-in-law figured that the guy was trying to get away, he sped up and the runner looked around and took off again at higher speed . Getting up to 75 miles per hour, the guy again saw the bikecop and took off, this time getting out of sight around the next turn . Jack slowed down and stopped along the curb, trying to figure a way to make a report about a "jogger" getting away from a motorcycle cop at over 75 miles per hour when he heard some moaning coming from the side of the road down in the bushes . He got off his bike and looking around, finally found the guy all wrapped up in bush branches, scraped and bleeding from abrasions, and missing one of his running shoes . He asked the guy if he was all right and the guy said: "Yeah, just some road-rash; nothing seems to be broken . . . and I almost got away this time but I had a blow-out in these cheap shoes" . |
SurferJoe46 (51) | ||
| 439258 | 2006-03-21 02:30:00 | A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl asked. "Yes, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids said up to D, but I said it up to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, It's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy!" she yelled, "We were in gym class today, and when we were showering, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" She lifted up her tank top to reveal a pair of 36 C's. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "No, Honey, Its because you're 24." |
KiwiTT_NZ (233) | ||
| 439259 | 2006-03-21 02:54:00 | ^^ Best one I've heard in a long time :lol: | roddy_boy (4115) | ||
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