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Thread ID: 68105	2006-04-17 09:34:00	Monday laughs: Easter being a religious holiday....	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
446926	2006-04-17 09:34:00	A Jewish girl brings her fiance home to meet her parents . After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man . He invites the young man into his study for schnapps . "So what are your plans?" the father asks . "I am a Torah scholar," he replies . "A Torah scholar," the father says . "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?" "I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us . " "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father . "I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us . " "And children?" asks the father . "How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiance . The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the fiance insists that God will provide . Later, the mother asks, "How did it go?" The father answers, "Badly! He has no job and no plans, and he thinks I'm God . " And because Easter is not a Jewish festival (at least, I am pretty certain it isn't) : The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains of Alaska for some sight-seeing . He was cruising along the campground in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods . A helpless liberal, wearing sandals, shorts, a Save the Whales hat, and a To Hell with Bush T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly . As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up . One quickly fired a . 44 magnum into the bear's chest . The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp . Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Liberal in the back seat . As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over . "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them . "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and liberal environmental activists but now Ive seen with my own eyes that this is not true . " As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?" "It was the Pope," another replied . "He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom . " "Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to San Francisco and snatch another one?" Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
446927	2006-04-17 09:50:00	This is my fave bear joke. Two dudes are packing their gear for a hike in the woods (My, aren't we so American?) One guy is giving his running sneakers Hi Speed Nikes a clean up and the other guy says. "Dude why are you packing sneakers? We're going hiking, not running." "It's in case we meet a bear." he says. The other dude does a bit of splutter an laughs and says. "Are you crazy" You can't outrun a bear." "I'm not planning to outrun a bear. I'm planning to outrun you."	mark c (247)
446928	2006-04-17 14:14:00	Happy easter guys An easter card for all of u img70.imageshack.us	Ninjabear (2948)
446929	2006-04-18 00:00:00	Bit late for Easter I would have thought.. "I Miss Bill" It doesn't matter what party you are, this is funny. Monologue taken from a show on Canadian TV. There was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton. "Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President. Number 1- He played the sax. Number 2- He smoked weed. Number 3-He had his way with ugly white women. Even now? Look at him... his wife works, and he don't! And, he gets a check from the government every month. Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations' most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water. Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada. When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, I don't know, I never had one. The Clinton revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know." Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between the Bushes.	Cicero (40)
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