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Thread ID: 69091	2006-05-21 22:45:00	Monday laughs: Call Centres	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
456662	2006-05-21 22:45:00	Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job." Mujibar said, "I am ready." The Manager said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green." Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Manager, I am ready." The Manager said, "Go ahead." Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green-green, green-green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar." Mujibar now works as a technician at a Dell-Service call center. No doubt some of you have spoken to him. Cheers Billy 8-{) :waughh: :badpc:	Billy T (70)
456663	2006-05-21 22:54:00	errr.........yes I think I might have ......also I think some of his rellies work for Microsoft and Symantec.....	drcspy (146)
456664	2006-05-22 00:59:00	You can also add orange. "Would you like me to orange this for you?"	mejobloggs (264)
456665	2006-05-22 01:22:00	The dreaded 'Dry Toast' fault. This is a common problem that's usually cured through the thin application of a suitable lubricant, such as butter, margarine or some such substance, and many will also opt to add an additional layer of product, such as Jam, Marmalade, Marmite, baked beans, pilchards, ham, cheese.... You get the idea; there are many types of toast covering, though the discussion of them is really beyond the scope of this guide. I do however offer the following advice: - Choose a topping that is to your taste. Paying a bit more for a 'quality' brand is recommended. Unfortunately, having checked, toast toppings of any kind are unavailable from your local usual dealership, and I can't find any part numbers, so you'll have to go with a Supermarket application. - Prolonged and repeated application of toast coated with 'baked bean' topping (any brand) can cause serious emission problems. Yes, all basic stuff, isn't it? Indeed. But what happens if your special topping spreader tools (known to some as knives) are all dirty? You can see the problem - a dirty knife will contaminate your dry toast lubricant and render it useless for the next user. This can often cause issues, and could even end up with the premature failure of your marriage. Here is the situation I'm talking about. Not a pretty sight, is it? Neither is the dirty knife. I have the toast, a selection of toast lubricants, but I have rather rashly just used my toast lubricant spreader to assist my eating breakfast. However, it is still possible to clean the toast spreader without need of detergent. This isn't recommended for general use, but in an emergency, it's handy. WARNING: To complete this task, you will need to wield both a knife and a slice of Dry toast. I cannot stress enough: Dry toast injuries can be very serious. Toast crumbs are also very messy and get everywhere. Oh, and knives are pretty dangerous too in unskilled hands. So be careful. To clean the knife, do the following: Grasp toast in one hand, in the other, grasp your dirty knife Now, keeping a steady grip on the toast, line up the knife against the toast. You will be pushing the blade of the knife into the body of the toast. Once you're happy that the blade of the knife is in alignment with the toast, begin insertion. Dry toast offers a surprising amount of resistance - be firm, but if the toast starts to flex, back off - you don't want to crack the spreading area! Finally, once the knife blade is fully inserted, wait a second, and then remove the blade in one swift move. The soft middle of the toast acts as a cleaning swab, and removes the worst of the knife contamination. You should find that your toast bubricant spreader (knife) is now clean enough to use again. And you can now finish dealing with your 'Dry Toast' problem and finish eating! One final note of caution. Don't get too excited (as I did) by this. It can go dangerously close to stabbing my eyes out with the now clean knife - this would have been a disaster, as I would have had to perform the cleaning routine again!	KiwiTT_NZ (233)
456666	2006-05-22 02:30:00	A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!" :D	smithie 38 (6684)
456667	2006-05-22 06:16:00	From Monty Python Special Edition... By jove... it explains everything... right here! (www.imagef1.net.nz) .	bob_doe_nz (92)
456668	2006-05-22 08:36:00	Not a joke,but entertaining......... interact10ways.com	Cicero (40)
456669	2006-05-24 01:23:00	Subject: Fw: Life in the 1500's - Fantastic Read The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the Water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s: These are interesting... Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other Sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and slide out of the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs." There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold." (Getting quite an education, aren't you?) In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that Always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot.They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old." Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat." Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust." Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake." England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and re-use the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer." And that's the truth... Now, whoever said that History was boring !!	Cicero (40)
456670	2006-05-24 02:00:00	Sounds good but its all rubbish. For instance: Threshold Threshold is a very old word, dating to c.1000 and probably earlier. The word thresh originally meant to stamp on or trample and survives today in the verb to thresh (wheat) and in thrash. The hold portion is of unknown origin. The threshold is literally the first place in a building you step and has evolved to mean any gateway. Once again the specious internet lore of Life in the 1500s blows the explanation. It claims that thresh was placed on the bare floor and a block of wood, the threshold, would keep the thresh in when the door was opened. The big problem is that there is no such thing as thresh. Thresh is not and never has been a noun. It is a verb meaning to beat, stamp, trample.	pctek (84)
456671	2006-05-24 02:22:00	Thresh is not and never has been a noun. It is a verb meaning to beat, stamp, trample. Maybe you'd like to run that part again. From OED thrash, thresh, n.2 A rush. Also attrib., thresh-bush, a clump of rushes. 1697 CLELAND Poems 30 (Jam.) Their bare preaching now Makes the thrush-bush keep the cow. 1795 A. WILSON Spouter in Poems & Lit. Prose (1876) II. 335 Green thrashes were strewed on the floor. 1822 R. WILSON Poems, Twa Mice (E.D.D.), Wi' their teeth green threshes chackit. 1850 J. STRUTHERS Life vi. Poet. Wks. I. p. cxiv, The shelter of a few well-grown thresh-bushes. 1871 H. S. RIDDELL Poet. Wks. II. 127 (E.D.D.) Threshes formed the theekin.	PaulD (232)
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