| Forum Home | ||||
| PC World Chat | ||||
| Thread ID: 143104 | 2016-11-21 03:19:00 | Monday Laughs: Aphorisms, Irish Insurance, Parrots. God (again) and a Taxi .... | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1428985 | 2016-11-21 03:19:00 | . . Aphorisms Learn from your parents' mistakes, use birth control Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. Don't Drink and Drive, you might hit a bump and spill something. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is definitely not for you Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol. We are born naked, wet and hungry, then things get worse. Red meat is not bad for you, fuzzy green meat is bad for you. ********************************* Irish Fire Insurance A man and his wife moved back home to Cork, from London. The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Britain was £2000.00 a year! When they arrived in Cork, they went to an Insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg. The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple, '£39.00.' The husband was amazed and asked why it was so cheap here in Ireland to insure, because it cost him £2000.00 in England! The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says: 'Any wooden structure, with an automatic sprinkler system over it, Annual Premium £39.00.' ********************************* A little Asian kid walks into a bar…....... He has the most amazing and colourful parrot on his shoulder…… The barman says “Wow!!! That’s awesome, where did you get it?” “China, there’s f#$!ing millions of them!” replied the parrot. ********************************* One day, God was looking down at earth, and saw all the misbehaving (too much sex, illicit drugs, prescription drugs, alcohol and risqué emails) that was going on, so he called one of his angels to go to Earth. When he returned, the angel told God: 'Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving, and only 5% are not'. God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I should send down another angel, to get a second opinion'! So God called another angel, and sent him to Earth too. When the angel returned, he went to God & said: 'Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.' God was not pleased. So he decided to e-mail the 5% who were good, because, he wanted to encourage them, give them a little something, to help them keep going ! Do you know what the e-mail said ? No ? Okay, just checking with you. ********************************* A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London; he curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel. The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door. The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing? "The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so best you get out here and wait for the next passing camel!!" Cheers Billy 8-{) :) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1428986 | 2016-11-21 03:32:00 | Billy - you are back! Thank God for that... :) Thanks for doing this - I for one, find it essential for my well-being. |
R.M. (561) | ||
| 1428987 | 2016-11-21 04:01:00 | We missed you. | Richard (739) | ||
| 1428988 | 2016-11-21 06:26:00 | Welcome back, normality has returned | gary67 (56) | ||
| 1428989 | 2016-11-22 04:26:00 | Sorry Guys 'n Gals The home front has been in turmoil for a few weeks, with Mrs T not well [in Auckland] and our daughter [in Oz] also unwell. They are hopefully on the mend, but in both instances it may be quite a some time before normality returns to Chez Billy. In the meantime, service may be somewhat erratic (some of you may have noticed already :horrified) but I'll try not to disappoint too often. Cheers Billy 8-{) :waughh: :( |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1428990 | 2016-11-22 04:42:00 | Sorry to hear that, Billy. Our best wishes go to you and yours. We will appreciate (truly, appreciate!) any offerings coming our way:) |
R.M. (561) | ||
| 1428991 | 2016-11-22 05:59:00 | Much appreciated Billy and speedy recovery to No1 wife and No1 daughter | gary67 (56) | ||
| 1428992 | 2016-11-22 07:29:00 | I hope that your wife and daughter both make a speedy recovery Billy. My thoughts are with you. | CliveM (6007) | ||
| 1428993 | 2016-11-22 09:07:00 | Gosh, hope all goes well with you and yours Billy. Regards... Ken |
kenj (9738) | ||
| 1428994 | 2016-11-22 19:15:00 | I hope that turmoil settles down and you can go back to normal. Best of good health to everyone. | Marnie (4574) | ||
| 1 2 | |||||