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Thread ID: 143132	2016-11-28 00:40:00	Monday Laughs: Bikers, wives x three, and Piggy Banks..................	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1429250	2016-11-28 00:40:00	. . A tough-looking group of Bikers were out riding when they saw a woman about to jump off a bridge,........ so they stopped and parked their Harleys. Their leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing woman?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he didn't want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity either, so he asked her... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So she does... It was a long, deep, lingering, spine-tingling kiss, and after she's finished, the biker leader says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why in the world would you want to commit suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl........" The Police believe she may have been pushed! ********************************* After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She asks ... "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot. She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?" He said, "I'm Just Kidding!" The swelling in his eye is going down, and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving one of his testicles. ********************************* THE TOP TEN THINGS THAT ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need to buy the same style of shoes in seven different colours. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every set of bathroom scales ever made. ....And the Number One thing only women understand: OTHER WOMEN ********************************* After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband how he would describe her. He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She asks ... "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot. She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?" He said, "I'm Just Kidding!" The swelling in his eye is going down, and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving at least one of his testicles. ********************************* Little known useless facts: Do You Know ??? How 'piggy banks' got their name? No? Well I'll tell you: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called "pygg". When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as "pygg banks." When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a bank that resembled a pig, and it caught on. Truly, I'm not telling porkies, this little tale is founded in fact. :p Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
1429251	2016-11-28 02:37:00	THE TOP TEN THINGS THAT ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 10. Cats' facial expressions. I can say that if you are going to be around cats, then you better learn them. 77007701 It's a lot easier than trying to get your blood out of the carpet.	pctek (84)
1429252	2016-11-28 11:07:00	Cats that draw blood will definitely get ahead, - as a Davy Crockett style hat. ;)	R2x1 (4628)
1429253	2016-11-28 19:52:00	A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills. "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are birth control pills?" "Yes, they help me sleep at night." "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these that could possibly help you sleep!" She reached out and patted the young doctor's knee and said, "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16-year-old Granddaughter drinks. And believe me it definitely helps me sleep at night." You gotta love Grandmas! A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us." Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here." A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!" Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote: 1) It is perfect formula for the child. 2) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3) It is always the right temperature. 4) It is inexpensive. 5) It bonds the child to mother and vice versa. 6) It is always available as needed. And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test he wrote: 7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it. He got an A. A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings. "Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?" "They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied. The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money." The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?" His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers "Yes." After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?" She said, "Most of them become taxi drivers." An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning. She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be. Ken	kenj (9738)
1429254	2016-11-28 20:07:00	No-one else notice the double up in the jokes? Spotted your deliberate mistake Billy.	Whenu (9358)
1429255	2016-11-28 22:28:00	I did, but was to polite to mention it. :) Ken	kenj (9738)
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