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Thread ID: 69607	2006-06-06 12:54:00	The unbelievably late Monday Laughs: The creation of Man	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
461183	2006-06-06 12:54:00	Eve's side of the story: After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve. And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc...so she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it. "That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes. Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?" "Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone." God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you.. Now let's see ... where did I put that useless boob?" Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that stuff about the rib? Which also goes to prove that Eve was the first woman to demand plastic surgery on the Public Health, and that having then demanded that she also be provided with a mate, she automatically gave up all right to complain about what she got; being derived, as it were, from her own flesh and blood. Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
461184	2006-06-07 07:10:00	Wednesday Bonus: A mother is driving her 7 year-old daughter to her friend's house for a play date when the little girl asks "Mummy," how old are you?" "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replies sweetly . "It's not polite . " "OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?" "Now really," the mother says, a bit less sweetly . "Those are personal questions and are really none of your business . " Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?" "That's enough questions, young lady, honestly!" mum says as her daughter is getting out of the car . The exasperated mother drives away as the two friends begin to play . "My Mum won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend . "Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license . It's like a report card, it has everything on it . " Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32 . " The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?" "I also know that you weigh 140 pounds . " The mother is past surprised and shocked now . "How in heaven's name did you find that out?" "And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce . " Now mom's getting mad . She says, "Oh really ? And just why is that, young lady?" "Because you got an F in sex . " Cheers Billy 8-{) :D	Billy T (70)
461185	2006-06-07 07:39:00	:thumbs: keep 'em comin'. I need a laugh, work sux at the moment.	rob_on_guitar (4196)
461186	2006-06-07 09:26:00	Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so, of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night... Thought you might like to come. About 5.00?" "Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you......be some drinkin'." "Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em." Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too." "Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again." "More'n likely be some wild sex, too," "Now that's really not a problem" says Tom, warming to the idea "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?" "Don't much matter ..... Just gonna be the two of us."	smithie 38 (6684)
461187	2006-06-07 10:35:00	Man, that is just wrong lol Keep it up.	Cornot (10386)
461188	2006-06-07 10:39:00	:lol: :lol: Oh man, that just made my night, cheers!	rob_on_guitar (4196)
461189	2006-06-08 01:14:00	On his trip to Great Britain, George Bush had a meeting with Queen Elizabeth. He asked her, "How does one manage to run a country so smoothly?" "Thatâ?(tm)s easy," she replied, "You surround yourself with intelligent ministers and advisors." "But how can I tell whether they are intelligent or not?" he inquired. "You ask them a riddle," she replied, and with that she pressed a button and said, "Would you please send Tony Blair in?" When Blair arrived, the Queen said, "I have a riddle for you to answer for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child?" Blair replied, "That's easy! The child was me." "Very good," said the Queen, "You may go now." So President Bush went back to Washington and called in his chief of staff, Karl Rove. He said to him, "I have a riddle for you, and the answer is very important. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child?" Rove replied, â?oYes, it is clearly very important that we determine the answer, as no child must be left behind. Can I deliberate on this for a while?" "Yes," said Bush, "I'll give you four hours to come up with the answer." So Rove went and called a meeting of the White House Staff, and asked them the riddle. But after much discussion and many suggestions, none of them had a satisfactory answer. So he was quite upset, not knowing what he would tell the President. As Rove was walking back to the Oval Office, he saw former Secretary of State Colin Powell approaching him. So he said, "Mr. Secretary, can you answer this riddle for me? Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was the child?" "That's easy," said Powell, "The child was me." "Oh thank you," said Rove, "You may just have saved me my job!" So Rove went to the Oval Office and said to President Bush, "I think I know the answer to your riddle. The child was Colin Powell!" "No, you idiot!" shouted Bush, "The child was Tony Blair!"	KiwiTT_NZ (233)
461190	2006-06-08 19:53:00	What's pink and sits in the corner getting smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler :D	roddy_boy (4115)
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