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Thread ID: 70003	2006-06-19 04:22:00	Monday laughs: Aging is SO much fun!!	FoxyMX (5)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
464320	2006-06-20 11:05:00	Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains . To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room . No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly . They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns . The first deputy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot . They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night . " The next night it was a different deputy's turn . In the morning, samething--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot . They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof . I just sat up and watched him all night . " The third night was Frank's tun . Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a real man's man . The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed, looking really well rested . . "Good morning, gents!," he said . They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what the heck happened?" To which Frank replied "Well, we got ready for bed . I went over and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night on his forehead . After that, he sat up and watched me all night long . " I don't think we have had this one here before but if we have, my apologies .	FoxyMX (5)
464321	2006-06-20 15:41:00	Two IT guys were talking in a bar after work . "Guess what," says the first IT guy, "yesterday, I met this gorgeous blonde in a bar . " "What did you do?" says the other IT guy . "Well, I invited her over to my place, we had a couple of drinks, we got into the mood and then she suddenly asked me to take all her clothes off . " "You're kidding me!" says the second IT guy . "I took her miniskirt off, and then I lifted her and put her on my desk next to my new laptop . " "Really? You've got a new laptop?"	Ninjabear (2948)
464322	2006-06-20 20:48:00	Laura I got even more yesses. Hmmm, must be the cold I think? LOL sarel	sarel (2490)
464323	2006-06-20 21:11:00	Sounds like I'm getting talked about.	JJJJJ (528)
464324	2006-06-20 23:28:00	"I took her miniskirt off, and then I lifted her and put her on my desk next to my new laptop." "Really? You've got a new laptop?"Well.. finish the story... what sort of laptop was it? -Qyiet	qyiet (6730)
464325	2006-06-20 23:43:00	Lol.. Um that was the end of the Joke Found it on zillion.	Ninjabear (2948)
464326	2006-06-21 01:45:00	Sounds like I'm getting talked about . And yet another one . . . ;) So what did YOU do today? Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting . Thought you might like to hear what happened to me yesterday: I went to the store and was in there for only about 5 minutes . When I came out there was a meter maid writing out a parking ticket . I went up to her and said, "Come on, lady, how about giving a guy a break?" She ignored me and continued writing the ticket . I called her Frauline Nazi . She glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires . So I called her a piece of horse **** . She finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first . After I called her a self possessed cow she started writing a third ticket . This went on for about 20 minutes -- the more I abused her, the more tickets she wrote . I didn't give a **** . My car was parked around the corner . I try to have a little fun each day . It's important when you're retired .	FoxyMX (5)
464327	2006-06-22 17:56:00	Really . . . I had Gork stuck in my head . . ah well I've never watched much TV at all (I think I have one in the garage somewhere . . . ), it always kills me in trivial pursuit . -Qyiet Ah! . . . . . Did you ever think that you thought GORK, that it might've been because you have a hard time with NZ accents! Mork f'm Gork, Mate!	SurferJoe46 (51)
464328	2006-06-23 01:32:00	A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips." The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice.."	KiwiTT_NZ (233)
464329	2006-06-25 04:22:00	From www.usj.com.my A recent Italian immigrant to New York wanted a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Italian. "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99." "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." The Italian man stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred." The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" (You're going to love this one!!!) The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog came along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hundred. So, when I start?" :D	Renmoo (66)
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