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Thread ID: 70426	2006-07-02 22:08:00	Monday laughs: The perfect husband........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
468162	2006-07-04 05:53:00	A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager "How much is that new Barbie in the window?" The Manager replied, "Which one? We have, 'Barbie goes to the gym'for $19.95 ... 'Barbie goes to the Ball' for $19.95 ... 'Barbie goes shopping for $19.95 ... 'Barbie goes to the beach' for $19.95... 'Barbie goes to the Nightclub' for $19.95 ... and 'Divorced Barbie' for $375.00." "Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95?" Dad asked surprised. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat and Ken's furniture." Ah, laughter is the cure for so many things (unfortunatley no conjunctivitus)...	techiekid (7219)
468163	2006-07-05 23:33:00	Well, it's not a midlife crisis, but here's how things worked out for me. Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things." My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blond, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed...............	FoxyMX (5)
468164	2006-07-05 23:38:00	This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas . They hired him because he was so funny . . . . . NAME: George Martin SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President . But seriously, whatever's available . If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place? DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package . If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle . EDUCATION: Yes . LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility . PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth . MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes . REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked . HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any . PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p . m . Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday . DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment . MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs . ?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me . DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? : Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread . Actually, I'd like to be doing that now . NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely . ***Old People Rock***	FoxyMX (5)
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