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Thread ID: 71472	2006-08-06 23:14:00	Monday Laughs: Random silly nonsense.......	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
476646	2006-08-06 23:14:00	Scenario: You are driving in a car at a constant speed . On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you . In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it . Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level . Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you . What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? See below for answer: Get off the kiddies' Merry-Go-Round, you've had far too much to drink! ----------------------------------------------------------- A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the Northern Woods of Canada, both liked to hunt . They were hunting for deer when all of a sudden a moose popped up in front of them . It was so unexpected, neither of them had a chance to fire . The Scotsman was shaken to his boots! "Hoots mon, wit in blazes was that?!" "That was a moose," the Canadian replied . "What heavens name are ye saying, lad? A moose? Good Lord mon, if that's a moose, I'd hate to see your rats!" ---------------------------------------------------------- The owner of a Pharmacy walks in one morning sees a man leaning heavily against a wall and looking very stressed . The owner asks the saleswoman, "What's with that customer over there by the wall? The woman replies: "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough . We were sold right out of cough syrup, so I gave him a bottle of laxative to drink . " The owner, wide-eyed and excited shouts, "You did what!! You can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxative!" The saleswoman calmly responds, "Of course you can! Look at him . . . . . . . . he's too damned scared to cough!" ---------------------------------------------------------- A WOMAN'S REVENGE . . . "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding and wrapping items the woman wished to purchase . "Charge" she replied, then as she searched for her wallet I noticed she had the remote control for a television set in her purse . By way of conversation I asked "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most painful and stress-inducing thing I could legally do to him . " Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
476647	2006-08-06 23:34:00	A guy from Arkansas passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14 . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How do you know when you're staying in a Arkansas hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead . " ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How can you tell if a Arkansas redneck is married? There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinkingage in Arkansas to 32 ? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Arkansas? Documentaries . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Where was the toothbrush invented? Arkansas . If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-30 and says to the driver, "Got any I . D . ?" and the driver replies "Bout wut?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery? The winner gets $3 . 00 a year for a million years . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The governor's mansion in Arkansas burned down! Yep . Pert' near took out the whole trailer park . The library was a total loss too . Both books-poof! up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A new law was recently passed in Arkansas . When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a mudslide . The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are ya? "No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania" . The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania?" "I'm a taxidermist," said the man . The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist? "The man says, "I mount animals" . The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar . . . "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"	FoxyMX (5)
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