Forum Home
PC World Chat
Thread ID: 71632	2006-08-11 10:08:00	Way's to find a biological parent?	KiwiMR2 (6464)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
477814	2006-08-11 10:08:00	Well I recently found out some information that has sort of sparked my interest in finding out some more about my biological father . Some quick background info . . . . . . my adopted father has been around since before I was born (1979) & in everyway has been what I consider to a perfect dad, I have absolutly no reason to ever wish it to be any different as like most father son relationships we have had our up's & down's but he has ALWAYS been there for me, in my eye's he is my dad and always will be . On a recent trip oversea's for a family function I got talking family history etc . with mum, I have known as long as I can remember that I have a biological father out there but the few times I felt the urge to raise it with mum I could tell it upset her a bit so didn't bother . I haven't really been to worried or interested but looking at starting a family myself soon I've often wondered about hereditary health issues . . . if there were any on his side for me to worry about . Anyway I found out his 1st & 2nd name, I found out he lived in my birth town (Hastings) and sometime in the early 80's he moved to Aussie for a while, then last time mum heard (few years back) he was back in Hastings . Im pretty sure I know what school he went to & ROUGHLY when he would have been there . I also found out that one of mum's close friends had a son to him of which she adopted out as soon as he was born . Funnily enough last time she checked on him he was living in Pukerua Bay . . . . just 15 mins up the road from me . He will be about a year or two older than me . Im unsure if he knows he is adopted etc . but AFAIA hasn't made contact with his mother . I also know he had a daughter roughly 2 years after me so I also have a half sister out there . . . don't know anything about her at all though . I believe I have also found the grave of his mother (so my grandmother) but again I can't be 100% sure . . . . . . . apparently she came & saw me a few times once I was born & from what I gather was quite interested but my biolgical father never came around & his father (my grandfather) was pretty horrible about the whole thing hence my grandmother only coming around a few times . Anyway with what little information I have can anyone point me in the direction of where I can get some more info? I don't really want to talk to mum anymore at this stage & although she mentioned I could probably talk to her friend Im a bit worried about them talking or me getting her upset or angry etc . I'd rather not drag it all up for mum . I've tried oldfriends & posted a "notice" in the section for his school but haven't had any bites . Not to sure where to head to from here . Cheers KiwiMR2	KiwiMR2 (6464)
477815	2006-08-11 10:14:00	If you get really desperate you could always try electoral rolls as they have name and age, the other option is to ring through the phonebook looking up all possible names But if you are going to do anything it would probably pay to be up front with your mum, as she might be upset now, but she could be even more upset if she finds out you have been tracking him down without her knowing	Morgenmuffel (187)
477816	2006-08-11 10:20:00	If you get really desperate you could always try electoral rolls as they have name and age, the other option is to ring through the phonebook looking up all possible names But if you are going to do anything it would probably pay to be up front with your mum, as she might be upset now, but she could be even more upset if she finds out you have been tracking him down without her knowing Actually yeah......I have been through the whitepages & there are 2 possible numbers with the surname & 1st initial but it's a long shot. Not sure what I could do with those 2 numbers? Mum was pretty cool about it the last talk we had....answered everything I asked & she actually said I could contact her friend for more info as she would probably know more. I know she doesn't mind me looking, IF I found out stuff I'd tell her but picking the right time to do so. As far as she is concerned Im old enough now to do what I want with the info & she doesn't mind :) Are the electoral rolls available online? Cheers KiwiMR2	KiwiMR2 (6464)
477817	2006-08-11 10:31:00	This site (www.bdm.govt.nz) may or may not help. If you don't have your birth certificate then you can apply for a copy through that site - you would hope / expect the biological fathers details are recorded on the birth certificate. Regarding the electoral roll : No you cannot search online (www.elections.org.nz) but you can view the roll at a public library.....check out the FAQ's in that link. Good luck in your quest - have you thought through exactly what you want to say if you did make contact by telephone? A	andrew93 (249)
477818	2006-08-11 10:42:00	If you don't have your birth certificate then you can apply for a copy through that site - you would hope / expect the biological fathers details are recorded on the birth certificate . Sweet, I'll check out that site . I have a birth certificate, I can't remeber where I got it from . . . think I must have written away for it when I needed to get my passport as at the bottom it's dated as being issued on 20/9/99 . It has my adopted father listed as father . I wonder if there is one with my biological father . . . . I guess that will tell me his EXACT birth date, I only have a rough idea what that is at this stage . Im actually going up to Hastings in November for a wedding so maybe I could visit the library then!? Good luck in your quest - have you thought through exactly what you want to say if you did make contact by telephone? Nope . . . . I don't know if I'd want to speak to him, sounds strange but I'd rather SEE him before attempting to speak to him, don't know why . . . . I guess I feel I can get a bit of a feeling about someone by the way they carry themself and look/act etc . I mean IF I saw him and he was a grumpy bugger storming around everywhere snapping at people I would be less likely to bother . But yeah . . . quite possible that he wouldn't even be interested in talking . . . would be a bit gutting I guess . I'd be interested to possibly contact a sibling to though :) Thanks for the link . Cheers KiwiMR2	KiwiMR2 (6464)
477819	2006-08-11 10:54:00	Looks like I can get a pre-adoptive birth certificate which should show his birthdate & name . I know his name, what use might I have with his birth date though?? Im not sure I can think of any . . . . . anyone think of any reason? Cheers KiwiMR2	KiwiMR2 (6464)
477820	2006-08-11 11:10:00	Did you try the obvious, entering his full name in quotes into NZ Google? If you're very lucky it might help. I would try the two phone numbers you have. Just ask if it's him, if it is, then play it by ear.	george12 (7)
477821	2006-08-11 11:18:00	Did you try the obvious, entering his full name in quotes into NZ Google? If you're very lucky it might help. I would try the two phone numbers you have. Just ask if it's him, if it is, then play it by ear. Yeah I tried most of the online stuff I can think of. What would I say if I called the numbers though...I could imagine: Me: Hi is blah blah there? Them: Speaking Not really sure what I'd say then but....... Me: Are you the blah blah that had a son to blah blah & blah blah in the late 70's? Them:......beep, beep, beep,....dialtone. I wouldn't like to just be hung up on :( One thing I forgot to mention is I know he was into car's & was either a car painter or panel beater around the time I was born. Cheers KiwiMR2	KiwiMR2 (6464)
477822	2006-08-11 11:40:00	I can't help because you've already received good advice here but I'd like to wish you the best on your quest. Finding your father might be traumatic but if you don't do it, you'll always wonder. Electoral rolls are the best bet on the info you have - which is actually a lot more than many in this situation.	Winston001 (3612)
477823	2006-08-11 11:46:00	Have you tried contacting the school he went to, to see if they have had any contact from him (eg. from a school reunion or something)? It is possible that they will know (I went to school in Hastings, and while I was there, a lot of the older teachers seemed to know people's mothers and fathers who had also gone through the same school, so it's a possibility).	somebody (208)
1 2