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Thread ID: 143211	2016-12-19 03:18:00	Monday Laughs: ....Being male.....and/or female, a Zoo Job, & a Motel out-call....	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1430004	2016-12-19 03:18:00	. . A Males' Lament........... My Ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be........ ------------------- I tried exercise but I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart pounded, I came out in a sweat and had trouble breathing. It was very dangerous, and I don't recommend it. ------------------- It is really funny when my wife gives me the 'silent treatment'. She thinks it is a punishment........ ------------------- If there was a way to read my wife's mind, I'm not sure I would want to. I hate shoes, shopping and gossip, and I already know I'm annoying. ------------------- Dear women who are awsome, smart, sexy and madly in love with me........ Please start existing. ------------------- Womens' panties are just overpriced wrapping paper. ------------------- Judging by the frying pan that just flew past my head, I must have done something wrong. I can't wait to find out what it was............. ********************************* Reincarnation: A Females' Dream........ Gonna be a bear........ In this life I'm a woman, but in my next life I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too. When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and you wake to partly grown cute cuddly cubs! I could definitely deal with that. If you're a Mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs, and if your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that as well. If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling, and he EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat! Yep, I'm definitely gonna be a bear ********************************* A bloke starts his new job at the Zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish-pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he isattacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both.. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything... He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure. He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything. Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?" The lion says: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees". ********************************* And to keep things in balance: Why She Changed Motels: Last week, she checked into a Motel on her 50th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself 'Tender Tony' - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a ten-cent piece off his well oiled bum.... She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call. "Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?" . . . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy! Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready!! Now how does that sound?" He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you'll need to press 9 for an outside line." Cheers Billy 8-{) :rolleyes:	Billy T (70)
1430005	2016-12-19 03:40:00	Normal transmission has been resumed . . . :clap	R2x1 (4628)
1430006	2016-12-19 18:44:00	Womens' panties are just overpriced wrapping paper. ------------------- Oooh......LOL. :D Means are cheap wrapping paper?	pctek (84)
1430007	2016-12-19 20:10:00	Normal transmission has been resumed . . . :clap x1	R.M. (561)
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