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| Thread ID: 143187 | 2016-12-12 01:02:00 | Monday Laughs: ....Grandad likes.., Tit for Tat, Real Stress, & UK Snippets...... | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1429735 | 2016-12-12 01:02:00 | . . Never Lose Your Grandson!!! My small grandson got lost at the shopping centre. He approached a uniformed security guard and said, “I've lost my grandad!” The guard asked, “What’s he like?’ The little bloke hesitated for a moment and then he said: “Scotch and Coke, and girls with big boobs!” ********************************* A guy asked a girl in a library, "do you mind if I sit beside you"? The girl answered with a loud voice "NO I DON'T WANT TO SPEND A NIGHT WITH YOU." All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed. After a couple of minutes the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and she said "I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, and his expression when he is embarrassed." The guy replied with a loud voice and said "YOU GOT TO BE JOKING! $500 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT. THAT'S FAR TOO MUCH." All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock, and the guy whispered in her ear "I study law, and I know how to make someone feel guilty." ********************************* Levels of Stress: You pick up a hitchhiker, a beautiful young girl. As you drive along, suddenly she faints, so you take her to the nearest Hospital A&E. Now that's stressful. But at the Hospital, they say she is pregnant and congratulate you on becoming a father. You say you are not the father, and you have only just met her, but girl insists that you are. This is getting very stressful. So then you go to your Doctor and request a battery of tests to prove that you are not the father. After the tests are completed the Doctor says you are infertile, and probably have been since birth. Your are extremely stressed, but relieved. On you way home from the Doctor, you think about your wife and your three children. Now THAT is stress! ********************************* Snippets from the UK: During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree. A spokesman for the Birmingham City Council said: "We didn't even know they were living up there". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is now being broadcast five days a week. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I had a mate who was really depressed. He was suicidal, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick-pocketed. How could anybody stoop so low? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "what's up Abdul, won't it start?" Cheers Billy 8-{) :) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1429736 | 2016-12-12 05:46:00 | Thanks Billy | gary67 (56) | ||
| 1429737 | 2016-12-12 21:04:00 | I always look forward to Monday Laughs. Much appreciated. Thanks very much, Billy. | Roscoe (6288) | ||
| 1429738 | 2016-12-14 21:06:00 | Fun science piece on the One Show - calculating just how long can a snowball survive in Hell? After much faffing creating snow using a blender and liquid nitrogen, they placed a hand compressed snowball into an oven at 450°C. It lasted almost 10 minutes. So, to have a snowball's chance in hell, you've got about 10 minutes. |
Marnie (4574) | ||
| 1429739 | 2016-12-15 01:50:00 | Bible actually doesn't say anything about Hell. The word are translations of Sheol, Hades, Gehenna or Tartarus. Sheol and Hades are, basically, "the grave", that is, the place where all the dead go, virtuous or wicked. And the concept of Sheol appeared in Judaism after its Hellenization, before that the dead went nowhere, there was no afterlife in Judaism. Gehenna was an actual place, the Valley of Hinnom, which was a dumpster outside Jerusalem. This was the place where people burned their garbage. In mystical Judaism, (quote from Wikipedia) Gehenna is not Hell, but originally a grave and in later times a sort of Purgatory where one is judged based on one's life's deeds, or rather, where one becomes fully aware of one's own shortcomings and negative actions during one's life. That leaves us with Tartarus, which is the place where the fallen angels are incarcerated. Nowhere in the Bible is said that human souls ever go to Tartarus. Isaiah 30:26 reads,Moreover, the light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold as the light of seven days. Thus, heaven receives from the moon as much radiation as the earth does from the sun, and in addition seven times seven (forty nine) times as much as the earth does from the sun, or fifty times in all. The light we receive from the moon is one ten-thousandth of the light we receive from the sun, so we can ignore that. With these data we can compute the temperature of heaven: The radiation falling on heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation. In other words, heaven loses fifty times as much heat as the earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann fourth power law for radiation (H/E)4 = 50 where E is the absolute temperature of the earth, 300°K (273+27). This gives H the absolute temperature of heaven, as 798° absolute (525°C). The exact temperature of hell cannot be computed but it must be less than 444.6°C, the temperature at which brimstone or sulfur changes from a liquid to a gas. Revelations 21:8: But the fearful and unbelieving... shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone [sulfur] means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, which is 444.6°C. (Above that point, it would be a vapor, not a lake.) We have then, temperature of heaven, 525°C. Temperature of hell, less than 445°C. Therefore heaven is hotter than hell. |
pctek (84) | ||
| 1429740 | 2016-12-15 02:25:00 | Bible actually doesn't say anything about Hell. The word are translations of Sheol, Hades, Gehenna or Tartarus. Sheol and Hades are, basically, "the grave", that is, the place where all the dead go, virtuous or wicked. And the concept of Sheol appeared in Judaism after its Hellenization, before that the dead went nowhere, there was no afterlife in Judaism. Gehenna was an actual place, the Valley of Hinnom, which was a dumpster outside Jerusalem. This was the place where people burned their garbage. In mystical Judaism, (quote from Wikipedia) Gehenna is not Hell, but originally a grave and in later times a sort of Purgatory where one is judged based on one's life's deeds, or rather, where one becomes fully aware of one's own shortcomings and negative actions during one's life. That leaves us with Tartarus, which is the place where the fallen angels are incarcerated. Nowhere in the Bible is said that human souls ever go to Tartarus. Isaiah 30:26 reads,Moreover, the light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold as the light of seven days. Thus, heaven receives from the moon as much radiation as the earth does from the sun, and in addition seven times seven (forty nine) times as much as the earth does from the sun, or fifty times in all. The light we receive from the moon is one ten-thousandth of the light we receive from the sun, so we can ignore that. With these data we can compute the temperature of heaven: The radiation falling on heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation. In other words, heaven loses fifty times as much heat as the earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann fourth power law for radiation (H/E)4 = 50 where E is the absolute temperature of the earth, 300°K (273+27). This gives H the absolute temperature of heaven, as 798° absolute (525°C). The exact temperature of hell cannot be computed but it must be less than 444.6°C, the temperature at which brimstone or sulfur changes from a liquid to a gas. Revelations 21:8: But the fearful and unbelieving... shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone [sulfur] means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, which is 444.6°C. (Above that point, it would be a vapor, not a lake.) We have then, temperature of heaven, 525°C. Temperature of hell, less than 445°C. Therefore heaven is hotter than hell. Has anybody checked this out personally? :D Seems to me to have “Emeritus Professor” origins. ;) |
B.M. (505) | ||
| 1429741 | 2016-12-15 05:06:00 | I don't know if this one has been posted before... Ken --------------------------------------------------------------- I called an old school friend and asked what was he doing. He replied that he is working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment". I was impressed...... On further enquiring I learnt that he was washing dishes with hot water.....under his wife's supervision. |
kenj (9738) | ||
| 1429742 | 2016-12-16 02:27:00 | Has anybody checked this out personally? :D Seems to me to have “Emeritus Professor” origins. ;) It has been around for more than 30 years. I thought it was published in the Journal of Irreproducible Results... Ahh - Google has the answer as usual... www.lhup.edu |
user (1404) | ||
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