Forum Home
PC World Chat
Thread ID: 143157	2016-12-05 00:07:00	Monday Laughs: Bikers, wives x three, and Piggy Banks..................	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1429518	2016-12-05 00:07:00	. . One afternoon an Irishman goes into a Pharmacy, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon. He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and says to the Chemist "could you taste this for me, please?"' The Chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around and swallows it. "Does that taste sweet to you?" says Paddy. "No, not at all," says the Chemist. "Oh that's a relief," says Paddy. "My doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar." ********************************* A very prestigious Cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life... Covered in flowers, a huge heart, stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, the casket rolled inside, then the heart closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, 'I'm so sorry... I was just thinking of my own funeral... I'm a gynaecologist!' The priest fainted!..................... ********************************* You are driving in a 'compact' car at a constant speed. On your left side is a sheer 'drop off' of about 500mm below the level you are travelling on, and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you. Right in front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it . Behind you is a galloping zebra . Both the horse and zebra are also travelling at the same speed as you . What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation ? For the answer, left-click and drag your mouse from star to star. * Get off the merry-go-round, you're too pissed to be riding it. * ********************************* One morning, a husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?') 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.' 'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden. 'That's true, but you have all the equipment.. For all I know you could start at any moment.' 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think. ********************************* Wife - "Where the hell have you been? You said you'd be done with golf by noon!" Husband - "I'm so sorry Honey...but you probably don't want to hear the reason." Wife - "I want the truth, and I want it NOW!" Husband - "Fine. We finished in under 4 hours, quick beer in the clubhouse, I hopped in the car, and would have been here at 12 on the button. On the way home, I spotted a girl half our age struggling with a flat tire. I changed it in a jiffy, and next she's offering me money. Of course I refuse it - but then she tells me she was headed to the bar at the Sheraton - and begs me to stop so she can buy me a beer. She's such a sweetie, I said yes. and before you know it - one beer turned to three or four, and I guess we were looking pretty good to each other. Then she tells me she has a room at the Sheraton less than 50 steps from our table. She suggested we get some privacy while pulling me by the hand. Now I'm in her room....clothes are flying ......the talking stopped.....and we proceeded to have sex in every way imaginable. It must have gone on for hours, because before I know it the clock says 5:30. I jumped up, threw my clothes on, ran to the car, and here I am. There. You wanted the truth....you got it." Wife - "Bullshit. You played 36 holes, didn't you!" ********************************* Late addition: John Key to resign next week. :clap:clap:clap Cheers Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
1