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Thread ID: 72448	2006-09-13 09:09:00	Religion problem in marriage	Vampire_Dakola (11131)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
484333	2006-09-13 13:38:00	How old are you and how old is your fiance?	Laura (43)
484334	2006-09-13 15:03:00	I think this person is just baiting for responses, ie the situation isn't real at all.	Greg (193)
484335	2006-09-13 21:35:00	I don't see any mention in Vampires post that she is Christian, she merely mentions the church. She also seems to be someone who speaks english as a second language. If the post is real (and I am leaning towards Greg with that), it seems to me that she has got involved with fundementalists of some flavour. There is no indication of where in the world she is, but my advice would be to "run, run, run and hide".	theother1 (3573)
484336	2006-09-13 21:36:00	I think you're baiting for a response Gweg. A comment typical of yours, shooting from the sidelines and too scared to make an entrance. Sounds like a perfectly logical situation if you ask me. The others are right, Church will always come 1st and you a distant 2nd (he will discuss any problems amongst with his church peers 1st before talking to you, and your advice will more than likely never be listened to as it is not "guided by God") You also have to consider, is hes staying with you under the impression that you will be turned eventually and join the church? The fact is if he is that into it then your children will be whisked away to the church and eventually it will all turn to sht. Turn and run I reckon. Or fill your house with secular material (ie: evolution/fantasy/horror books and movies, tarot cards, hold seances etc etc) and see what the reaction is. If you put up with his sht then he can deal with yours... or not	Veale (536)
484337	2006-09-13 21:58:00	Greg may be right. It could even be a student using our posts in order to write an essay. But if Vampire is in fact genuine, my advice follows what most here have said - dump him and run for the hills!! Often romantic feelings cloud a person's judgement; they confuse 'love' with romance.	Strommer (42)
484338	2006-09-13 22:21:00	It sounds like a "fundamentalist church". Before long, after you are married and your options are more limited, you could be subservient to this man, i.e. have babies, make meals, clean house, etc. etc. He will use his power, influence, etc. to treat you like a lessor person. You need to find a man who has a more balanced view of the world where everyone is considered equal. Steer clear, is my advice.	KiwiTT_NZ (233)
484339	2006-09-13 22:53:00	May I be the first to suggest you try very hard to work this problem out? What kind of a fiance just runs away when things get tough. Just talk to him, say what he's doing is not what you want and not what you belieive in, and that he can't keep trying to change that. Tell him that you're willing to accept his way of life and he NEEDS to do the same if this marriage can possibly work. Tell him that although you deeply respect his religion, you need to come before his Church and church friends. Not necessarily to come before God, but I'm sure you can understand that, and I think you can work something out where his relationship with God doesn't conflict at all with his relationship with you. Stress that this relationship won't work otherwise, and if he doesn't listen to a word you say, then yes, it might be a good time to leave. But I think he probably (and should) love you enough to make an effort to work things out. You might have a really good life with him if you can solve this issue.	george12 (7)
484340	2006-09-13 23:32:00	Any person who uses religious persuasion to try to make you capitulate on you lack of desire or faith in a "church" is going against the tenets of that faith itself . Here's what I mean . . . . If this church is so-called christian, it has to adhere to the scriptures that the name on it's door represents . Primarily, marriage is a sacred situation of man and woman that is not to be lightly taken or abused or misused . Forcing one to become re-adherent to things that a person does not hold dearly or finds fault with, is an indicator of future disaster for the couple . Marriage of mixed-spirituality is forbidden by christian rules if they actually adhere to the book they say they revere . . . there is no grey area here . Whether one worships a wooden god or one in gold or one of spiritual non-physicality, there must be equality and equlibrium in that faith by both parties for the marriage to work . I assume by your moniker that you are not a devout christian (neither capitol "C" nor lower case "c") and that you will not be able to mix voodoo with your beloved's faith . . . unless there is some sort of simony by a priest or clergyman . . . and then I would be in serious doubt of their motives or sincerity . There MAY be an involuntary opening however, for a woman . . . (who after marriage and consecration by that marriage), to be now counted as a new believer, whether she wants to be so cozened . (Read here: "Trapped")	SurferJoe46 (51)
484341	2006-09-14 00:22:00	What sorta person makes there first post in a computer forum about personal religious and relationship problems? Anyone who cant see this is a hoax is a fool. Where Metla when we need him?	Pete O'Neil (6584)
484342	2006-09-14 01:34:00	What sorta person makes there first post in a computer forum about personal religious and relationship problems? Anyone who cant see this is a hoax is a fool . Where Metla when we need him? Yes, it may well be a hoax, but it is interesting to read the comments . :rolleyes: It reminds me of a friend of mine, who is 24 yrs old . A really fine young man on all levels - intelligent, good job, social, friendly, good looking and a boy racer - yeah that last part is true but thought I would put it in to fan a few flames:D . Anyhow, the point is that this young guy had a girlfriend who came from a fundamentalist Christian family . . . so fundamental that her father said my friend would have to convert over to their church (Bretheren or Dutch Reform, cannot recall which) . I nearly puked in disgust, and felt like shaking my friend back to his senses . Luckily the relationship faded . The more I deal with and hear about Christian fundamentalists, the more dangerously loopy I think they are . Same goes for any religious fundamentals, but the power that the Christians are starting have on politics and society in general is, imho, very worrying . Anyone see Penn & Teller, "Bullsht!", Prime TV, recently, on THE BIBLE? How anyone can believe in that . . . . oh crp, I think I'd better leave it for now . As has been said, Where is :cool: Metla :p when we need him?? :lol:	Strommer (42)
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